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Donald hires Ben Carson

wikileaks-netbook-globe-01-03Ben: You know I’m not qualified for this job, Donald. I turned down Surgeon General and I’m a surgeon.

Donald: Franklin Graham told me The Lord is with me. You showed the faith of a child on the campaign trail. I want you in my corner. Just to bring you up to speed, China is attempting a hostile takeover of our country and we’re going to stop them. Now, what are we going to do about the inner cities?

Ben: We have a saying sir, pardon the indelicate language, “The rent is to darn-diddly high.”

Donald: I’ve heard it. I’m a landlord. Continue reading

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Donald and Mad Dog prevent a nuclear holocaust

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Mad Dog: We have to scrap the new fighter jets.

Donald: You mean the ones that cost 700 billion dollars?

Mad Dog: Yes sir. I spoke to my source today.

Donald: You mean the foreign agent that you met on Tinder?

Mad Dog: Yes sir. She’s really pushing us to update our ICBMs. She said Russia’s are faster and undetectable by radar. Continue reading

Sports

A new, improved college football playoff system: how it works and why

Here are your 8 tournament teams if we had a sensible college playoff system.

The NCAA Football Selection Committee today will issue its final rankings, and in doing so they face some tough choices about who gets to play for the national title. This is because NCAAF, unlike every other sport, doesn’t allow everyone with a claim to settle it on the field. It isn’t enough to win your games (and some years, your conference), you have to win a PR battle.

The NCAA has been stumbling from one corrupt system to another for years. You just wish they were making more progress, don’t you? Continue reading

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Penn State wins the Big 10, and the misguided Paterno worship begins anew

Joe Paterno failed at being a decent human being. We shouldn’t re-lionize him now that Penn State has won the Big 10 conference.

Joe Paterno knew for decades that his assistant coach was sexually abusing boys, said nothing, and even told at least one victim to drop his accusation.

Let that sink in for a moment, and then check out the following image:

Pro-Paterno photoshopped image taken from Facebook group "Penn State - Put the Joepa Statue Back Where it Belongs"

Pro-Paterno photoshopped image taken from Facebook group “Penn State – Put the Joepa Statue Back Where it Belongs”

Continue reading

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High School DxD review, by Anime Binge

Supernatural fights, some comedy, and a relatively weak but fun plot was just enough to keep me watching to the end, but damn, the ecchi is strong in this one. Spoilers ahead.

High School DxD

High School DxD

High School DxD has a supernatural theme, where the main character, high school student Issei Hyodo, is killed by a fallen angel and is brought back by a demon princess and buxom redhead, Rias Gremory, as her “pawn.” High class demon clans are organized in part as chess pieces, with pawns being the only type that can claim the abilities and powers of the other pieces, except for the king.

Over the course of the three seasons, Issei trains hard, gets stronger, and fights supernatural battles on behalf of Rias, his “king” and president of the school’s Occult Research Club. The student council president is another demon princess, with her clan being associated with the student council, and a friendly rival to Rias. We learn that there has been millennia of battles between the angels, fallen angels, and demons, and that the last battle killed not only most of the demon kings (including Lucifer, a title given to the most powerful demon king) but also God and most of the leaders of the fallen angels, weakening the Christian mythological system significantly and giving other systems (like the Norse gods) an opportunity to grow and influence the world again.

High School DxD has the usual shonen tropes – a perverted high school boy as the main character, a harem of girls around him who are all very attractive and want to kiss/sleep with/have sex with/et al him, that one girl who thinks the main character is a pervert (but who ends up falling for the main character eventually). But this anime has way more in the ecchi department than most shonen, to the point that the ecchi elements distract from the actual stories.

As a 43 year old man, I realize that I am not the target demographic for High School DxD. Were I a hormonal teenager again, I’d probably be way more interested in the many, many, many censored breasts, shower scenes, panty shots, and so on than I am at the moment. I mean, 20 or 30 years ago I’d have been whining that this anime was over-censored, rather than complaining that the story takes a back seat to the ecchi elements. I mean, really, Issei’s first custom attack is “Dress Break,” where he magically shreds the clothing of any girl he touches. But these days? If I want to watch an anime that’s one intercourse scene shy of hentai, I’d rather just dive right into actual hentai instead.

The first 12-episode season is the least ecchi of the bunch, and the third season is the most. High School DxD had just enough story and a sufficiently interesting setting to keep me interested through all three seasons. But I would have much preferred it to be more story, less horny teenager.

trump-voters

Trump voters and the need to feel superior

Faulkner was wrong. Mankind will not prevail.

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Part 2 of a series

After weeks of pondering, I think I finally understand the election.

Full disclosure. I am an older white male. I grew up in the projects in the South, which was several social rungs below a trailer park because it meant living side by side with negroes. We were impoverished, living from paycheck to emergency loan to charity to government assistance to paycheck. I grew up in a family of virulent racists, proud that our ancestors had fought for the Confederacy and ridden with the Klan. My mother never finished high school and no one in my direct family line had ever completed college. I’ve been married 38 years to the same woman, have children and grandchildren and live in rural Indiana.

Trump’s tax plan will save me about $12,000 a year and will save my kids over a million dollars in inheritance taxes. I should’ve been a Trump supporter. Continue reading

A dreary walk in the woods … then magic

Saturday dawned gray, cold, and wet. A light mist eased through the forest at my university. But a day walking in the woods with a camera is a good day, no matter the weather, right?

The university was on holiday break. Students had fled home to give thanks with family and friends. I did, too, but returned early.

The deeply overcast sky dictated a flat, low-contrast aspect to the trees and trails in the forest. I looked down. At least I can shoot leaves, now wet and trodden. I like to shoot leaves. A little Photoshop would add hue and color contrast to them, I thought.

But the gray and the cold and the mist cut into my coat and mind. I shivered. Bummer. A dark day growing darker. Melancholy arrived and tapped on my shoulder. I turned and shuffled back onto the main trail, intent on returning to my truck. My Canon hung unused from its strap around my neck. I hate the interregnum between seasons: no leaves on the trees, no snow on the ground.

Franciscans have walked through these woods for more than a century and a half. Franciscans like nature and apparently thrive in it. They have, over the life of the university, constructed stations of the cross on a circular trail in this forest — Bob’s Woods, named after Fr. Bob Stewart, who died of cancer shortly after my arrival at the university.

I am not a Franciscan. I am not as hopeful as they appear to be. Dank, dark weather like this day’s further eroded my ability to detect hope.

Then I saw …
Continue reading

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Donald hires “Mad Dog”

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Donald: Congratulations, Mad Dog, you get the job.

Mad Dog: Sir, you should know that I’m being blackmailed by the Chinese.

Donald: Aren’t we all? The question is whether God and Country are more important.

Mad Dog: There’s more, sir. It’s not just me. Good men in our military are being blackmailed. We have no opportunity to meet women, and we’re ill-equipped to woo them when do. We have no practice. We have a very brief time before we’re redeployed. And then, suddenly, Tinder appeared, and Plenty Of Fish, and I suppose Grindr for the boys who swing that way. We were just trying to get laid, sir. Continue reading