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The seven kinds of rape (thx to the GOP for sorting this out)

Back in the old days rape was rape. Or, at most, there were two kinds. There was the “put on a ski mask and rape her at knifepoint” type and there was the “she said she was 18″ statutory type. Which wasn’t really rape at all, because, I mean, LOOK at her. And she really wanted it.

These days it’s more complicated. There’s ALL KINDS of rape, and it’s important to understand the differences because some of them have distinctly religious implications. That is, if you’re being raped, it helps to be aware of whether or not it’s God’s will, for instance. That way you can know whether or not you should be enjoying it (in a holy spirit way, not a sins of the flesh way, you whore) and you can even be thinking about whether or not you’ll be blessed with a pregnancy. Maybe you can even start thinking about baby names.

Brainwrap over at Kos has updated the handy-dandy Republican Rape Advisory Chart you may have seen floating around on Facebook. It explains the different kinds of rape and provides certifying information from Republican candidates for elected office so that you know it’s valid and not some shit that a bozo just made up.

Please share this with any friends you think might benefit from it. You know, like potential rapists or undecided women voters.

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8 Comments on “The seven kinds of rape (thx to the GOP for sorting this out)”

  1. Bret Higgins October 25, 2012 at 9:43 am #

    That really took 22 years to collate?

    Just listen to any Dean Martin song and you’ll realise that in the 50′s there wasn’t rape at all, it was courting.

    And don’t forget that according to the movie Predators, 5pm is now bitch raping time.

  2. Samuel Smith October 25, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    This whole thing sort of cries out for a Monty Python musical number, doesn’t it?

  3. Ciarrai October 25, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    No, it cries out for a response from voters in which they turn thumbs down on the party from which this hateful and irresponsible crap issues. To show his true colors, Romney won’t reject this stuff wholecloth, but rather nibble around the edges. After all, he will say anything, change any position to get elected. Romney will not categorically reject the idea that a pregnancy resulting from rape is intended to be so by God. What a morally bankrupt candidate is Romney and the view espoused by Mourdock in Indiana is beneath contempt.

  4. catherinephung October 25, 2012 at 11:12 am #

    Reblogged this on catherinephung.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Some Things Should Not be Catagorized - October 27, 2012

    [...] Originally by Brainwrap at others contributors at DailyKos. Found at Scholars and Rogues. [...]

  2. The Republican Party “Rape Advisory Chart” « Al Stefanelli - October 30, 2012

    [...] your face in the shape of your palms. So, without further ado, and many thanks the folks over at Scholars and Rogues, I present to [...]

  3. Poll: how much of the vote would Obama win if he were white? | Scholars and Rogues - October 30, 2012

    [...] all got me to thinking about a basic question. Consider the GOP approach, from their positively Byzantine assault on women to their willingness to openly lie about anything and everything to their reactionary theocratic [...]

  4. Republican Rape Chart « American Heathen® - October 30, 2012

    [...] My good friend and show co-host Al Stefanelli posted this over on his blog site.  I liked it so much that I decided to re-post it here.  Of course, if you happen to be a Rethuglican, and are offended in any way by this… tough shit Sherlock!  Your party of pigs started it!  Just so we’re clear, this chart isn’t definitive.  I’m sure some other loudmouthed, bigoted, sexist, Religious Reich jackass will flap their lips and add to the already confusing and utterly ridiculous excuses why women shouldn’t be allowed to control their bodies.  But, for now, the chart below should, at least, be a good starting point.  The original post of this image is on Scholars and Rogues. [...]

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