The seven kinds of rape (thx to the GOP for sorting this out)

Back in the old days rape was rape. Or, at most, there were two kinds. There was the “put on a ski mask and rape her at knifepoint” type and there was the “she said she was 18” statutory type. Which wasn’t really rape at all, because, I mean, LOOK at her. And she really wanted it.

These days it’s more complicated. There’s ALL KINDS of rape, and it’s important to understand the differences because some of them have distinctly religious implications. That is, if you’re being raped, it helps to be aware of whether or not it’s God’s will, for instance. That way you can know whether or not you should be enjoying it (in a holy spirit way, not a sins of the flesh way, you whore) and you can even be thinking about whether or not you’ll be blessed with a pregnancy. Maybe you can even start thinking about baby names.

Brainwrap over at Kos has updated the handy-dandy Republican Rape Advisory Chart you may have seen floating around on Facebook. It explains the different kinds of rape and provides certifying information from Republican candidates for elected office so that you know it’s valid and not some shit that a bozo just made up.

Please share this with any friends you think might benefit from it. You know, like potential rapists or undecided women voters.

9 replies »

  1. That really took 22 years to collate?

    Just listen to any Dean Martin song and you’ll realise that in the 50’s there wasn’t rape at all, it was courting.

    And don’t forget that according to the movie Predators, 5pm is now bitch raping time.

  2. No, it cries out for a response from voters in which they turn thumbs down on the party from which this hateful and irresponsible crap issues. To show his true colors, Romney won’t reject this stuff wholecloth, but rather nibble around the edges. After all, he will say anything, change any position to get elected. Romney will not categorically reject the idea that a pregnancy resulting from rape is intended to be so by God. What a morally bankrupt candidate is Romney and the view espoused by Mourdock in Indiana is beneath contempt.