Dr. Sidicious Bonesparkle

Is Dr. Sid the most cynical man in America?

Sidicious Bonesparkle, DLitt, who formerly served as Hell’s Ambassador to the United States, now directs S&R’s politics and entertainment desk. In this capacity he finds very little that needs doing, so he’s able to spend a considerable amount of time indulging his passions: reading, writing, reality television, and watching European football on satellite.

An astute observer and analyst of human culture, “Dr. Sid” earned his doctorate from Oxford sometime in the early 1600s (“the exact date is on the sheepskin, I suppose, but I haven’t seen the bloody thing in aeons”) and first came to America during its formative Colonial period, where he struck up friendships with the likes of Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Benjamin Franklin, George Mason, and of course Sam Adams. The latter was overrated as a brewmaster, he says, even back then.

He fondly remembers his lengthy debates with the “Founding Fathers” over the nature of governance and the human character. Although some have tried to credit him with influencing the crafting of the Constitution, Dr. Bonesparkle vigorously denies any role at all. “Oh no,” he says, “you people have nobody to blame for that mess but yourselves. All I did was drink my share of the ale and play devil’s advocate, as it were.”

Asked to explain why he chose to pursue a career in diplomacy, he says, “Slothfulness, really. I was trained for a life of scholarship, but I was simply too lazy to be a good one. I had a great faith in my own theories and lacked sufficient concern for the insights of lesser thinkers.”

Sid shares a loft in Denver’s trendy LoDo district with his two champion Jack Russell Terriers, Rabies and Beelzepup.