Nikki: We need to talk about the United Nations. Donald: My gut feeling is they’re trouble. Nikki: You have no idea. They think the United States is their biggest threat. Donald: […]
Donald hires Nikki Haley
Donald hires Rick Perry
Rick: We need to talk about Zika. Donald: The shrunken head disease in Brazil? Rick: It’s showing up in Tea Party states like Florida. It’s a way to make the population non-viable […]
Donald interviews Rex Tillerson
Rex: We need to stop the CIA from briefing the Electoral College. Donald: People are already saying I’m a tyrant. Won’t it look worse if I come out against an informed electorate? […]
Donald hires Scott Pruitt
Scott: We need to talk about hog farms. Donald: I love bacon. They say every slice of bacon takes three minutes off your life. At this point I died in 1795. Scott: […]
Donald hires General John Kelly
John: We need to talk about self-radicalization. Donald: You mean like the Orlando shooter? John: All the walls in the world won’t keep out the people who were born in this country. […]
Donald hires Ben Carson
Ben: You know I’m not qualified for this job, Donald. I turned down Surgeon General and I’m a surgeon. Donald: Franklin Graham told me The Lord is with me. You showed the […]
Donald and Mad Dog prevent a nuclear holocaust
Mad Dog: We have to scrap the new fighter jets. Donald: You mean the ones that cost 700 billion dollars? Mad Dog: Yes sir. I spoke to my source today. Donald: You […]
Donald calls President Tsai Ing-wen
Donald: I look forward to liberating your country. Ing-Wen: What is the value of freedom? Donald: Freedom is power closest to its source, the individual as created by God. Ing-wen: But the […]
Donald meets Megan Brennan
Megan: Sir, the post office is under attack. Donald: Anthrax again? Megan: No sir, that was an attempt to bankrupt us. The US Postal Service operates independently of the elected government, as […]
Donald hires “Mad Dog”
Donald: Congratulations, Mad Dog, you get the job. Mad Dog: Sir, you should know that I’m being blackmailed by the Chinese. Donald: Aren’t we all? The question is whether God and Country […]
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