Search results for ‘john mccain

McCain threatens bombing China over U.S. flag sales

On the heels of news that millions of American flags are actually imported from China, Republican presidential nominee John McCain addressed the issue this Fourth of July morning outside a flag factory in Fredericksburg, Virginia.

“All options must be on the table to deal with China’s infiltration of our flag market,” McCain said to a cheering and U.S.-made flag-waving crowd. “If we find that China manufactured and sold us these millions of American flags intentionally and for the purpose of tainting our great country in any way, we might have no other option than to bomb these Chinese flag production sites and trade routes, their business associates, and their friends and family.”

McCain camp launches NameIsMcCainNotMcSame.com

In response to charges that John McCain’s presidency would amount to a third term for George W. Bush, the McCain campaign debuted a new website today, NameIsMcCainNotMcSame.com.

The homepage explains, “Though John McCain does agree with President Bush on the necessity of the war in Iraq and staying there to get the job done, seeking to overturn Roe v. Wade, immunity for telecom companies’ illegal wiretapping, not speaking with our enemies, offshore drilling, limiting legal rights of detainees, targeting Iran for attack, school vouchers, banning same-sex marriages, opposing increased education benefits for veterans, making current tax cuts permanent, the economy, healthcare, expanding genetically modified food production, and eliminating habeas corpus, or that he voted 95% of the time with the president in 2007 and 100% of the time in 2008, Senator McCain differs greatly with President Bush on a wide variety of issues.”

The site goes on to list many of their divergent stances:

Jesus denounces McCain, endorses Obama

In a stunning turn of events Thursday, the Son of God endorsed Barack Obama for President while rejecting and distancing himself from presumptive Republican nominee John McCain.

Outside an Applebee’s off the New Jersey Turnpike in Paramus yesterday, Jesus Christ told reporters, “Look, it’s been a very divisive primary season between Barack and Hillary. I thought my support would aid the healing process and help unify the Democrats.”

Asked if he was a registered Democrat, Jesus replied, “I’m actually registered with the Green Party. But no amount of faith and prayer will get their candidate elected.” Christ clarified, “I perform miracles, but there are limits.”