trump-voters

Trump voters and the need to feel superior

Faulkner was wrong. Mankind will not prevail.

trump-voters

Part 2 of a series

After weeks of pondering, I think I finally understand the election.

Full disclosure. I am an older white male. I grew up in the projects in the South, which was several social rungs below a trailer park because it meant living side by side with negroes. We were impoverished, living from paycheck to emergency loan to charity to government assistance to paycheck. I grew up in a family of virulent racists, proud that our ancestors had fought for the Confederacy and ridden with the Klan. My mother never finished high school and no one in my direct family line had ever completed college. I’ve been married 38 years to the same woman, have children and grandchildren and live in rural Indiana.

Trump’s tax plan will save me about $12,000 a year and will save my kids over a million dollars in inheritance taxes. I should’ve been a Trump supporter. Continue reading

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Donald hires “Mad Dog”

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Donald: Congratulations, Mad Dog, you get the job.

Mad Dog: Sir, you should know that I’m being blackmailed by the Chinese.

Donald: Aren’t we all? The question is whether God and Country are more important.

Mad Dog: There’s more, sir. It’s not just me. Good men in our military are being blackmailed. We have no opportunity to meet women, and we’re ill-equipped to woo them when do. We have no practice. We have a very brief time before we’re redeployed. And then, suddenly, Tinder appeared, and Plenty Of Fish, and I suppose Grindr for the boys who swing that way. We were just trying to get laid, sir. Continue reading

Trump voters

Do Trump voters really think they’ve won?

There’s good news and bad news for poor white Trump supporters.

Trump votersPart 1 of a series

I’ve now gone through my seven stages of grieving over the election. But I’m not at peace. Instead I’m left with a nasty black residue like the stuff on beaches after an oil spill. It’s best summed up by an old joke.

Two guys show up at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter meets them and says, “I’ve got some bad news. Heaven’s a little full right now. We’re sending you back. We’ll come get you when we finish the new addition.”

He turns to one. “Now you’ve been a great person. You’ve been kind and generous. You’ve never done anything bad to anyone. You weren’t rich or famous, but you worked hard and maintained your dignity. I’m going to give you a $25 million dollar head start.” Continue reading

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Donald meets Franklin Graham

Franklin: God bless you, my son. Fear not. The Lord is with you.

Donald: I don’t go to church much.

Franklin: Maybe it’s time you start.

Donald: I’m just so tired on Sunday mornings.

Franklin: I know how it is. Work all day. A set of keys all day.

Donald: How do you mean?

Franklin: When this country had faith in God, we didn’t lock our doors. Now we’re afraid and we have a ring full of keys. Continue reading

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Donald meets Merrick Garland

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Donald: I need you on the Supreme Court.

Merrick: Impossible. Congress won’t approve it.

Donald: Not even to preserve the separation of powers?

Merrick: You’ve seen how they act. Moderate Republicans are afraid to ally themselves with Democrats because they know how that ends. A challenger from the radical right unseats them. Senator Richard Burr, for example. Continue reading

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Donald concedes to Hillary Clinton

trump-hillaryDonald: Is this a secure line?

Hillary: Yes. I take security very seriously these days.

Donald: Somehow my words keep showing up on the internet. There’s a guy who writes my exact words, stenographically, on the internet.

Hillary: That is concerning.

Donald: But get this. Sometimes he writes my words down before I say them.

Hillary: That’s called a speechwriter, Donald. You really should get one. Continue reading

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Donald meets Tulsi Gabbard

wikileaks-netbook-globe-01-03Tulsi: Let’s talk about the radical left.

Donald: Yes. Let’s.

Tulsi: As you know, the radical right, which was so successful in electing you, recently suffered a major setback. We traded thousands of operatives and “the right to free speech” for basically nothing. We got a raw deal.

Donald: Thanks Obama.

Tulsi: But we’re not done. We have control of Hawaii and Vermont, and we’re very strong in Massachusetts. Continue reading

Donald meets John Allison

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John: I’d like to talk to you about gold.

Donald: Love gold. I have a ton of it. Literally a ton. US gold dollars, British sovereigns, I even have some Roman gold. It’s very rare. Most of it got melted down. Once I came across some Nazi gold. I bought it and donated it to the Holocaust Museum for display. Never forget. I hate Nazis. I’m of German extraction. It’s like our slavery.

John: Sir, we need to move back to the gold standard and away from the fiat currency system controlled by the Federal Reserve Bank.

Donald: Nonsense. Paper money allows us to respond to changing economic conditions. It’s called quantitative easing. I went business school, you know. Continue reading

Donald Trump

Donald is why we have the Electoral College

The Electoral College should deny Donald the Presidency for rejecting the legitimacy of the election even after he’s supposedly won it.

The Electoral College is a dinosaur of an institution that replaces the popular vote with the votes of electors, selected by but not beholden to each individual state. In living memory, the Electoral College victory has now twice overturned the popular vote in favor of the Republican candidate. Prior to George W. Bush, the last time the popular vote and Electoral College vote was split was in 1888.

But there is a point to the Electoral College. The idea was that electors would be well educated (and, originally, white and male) on the issues and thus would be able to stand in the way of a population that had elected someone who was clearly unfit to serve as President.

Look at the tweets at the right and tell me, honestly, if those look like the words of someone who is fit to be President of the United States of America.

Donald also tweeted the following in a series – I’ve collected them below instead of just linking all the tweets:

Hillary’s debate answer on delay: “That is horrifying. That is not the way our democracy works. Been around for 240 years. We’ve had free and fair elections. We’ve accepted the outcomes when we may not have liked them, and that is what must be expected of anyone standing on a during a general election. I, for one, am appalled that somebody that is the nominee of one of our two major parties would take that kind of position.” Then, separately she stated, “He said something truly horrifying … he refused to say that he would respect the results of this election. That is a direct threat to our democracy.” She then said, “We have to accept the results and look to the future, Donald Trump is going to be our President. We owe him an open mind and the chance to lead.” So much time and money will be spent – same result! Sad

It would have been much easier for me to win the so-called popular vote than the Electoral College in that I would only campaign in 3 or 4 states instead of the 15 states that I visited. I would have won even more easily and convincingly (but smaller states are forgotten)!

Jill Stein and Clinton have asked for, and will pay for, a recount. And here we have Donald doing the very thing that Clinton accused him of – questioning the legitimacy of the election, even after he’s apparently won it.

I realize that almost no-one who voted for Trump will ever read this. I don’t know how to get it to people outside my bubble (which is one of the major problems with bubbles in the first place). But if there was ever a reason for the Electoral College to reject the candidate that “won” it in favor of the candidate who won the actual popular vote, this is it. The chance of this happening, given how electors are chosen (by the winning party in the state in question), is minuscule, but it’s still the right thing. Here’s hoping for a lot of faithless electors.

Deny Donald the Presidency.

Donald Meets Rudy Giuliani

wikileaks-netbook-globe-01-03Rudy: Mitt says you’re thinking of going straight.

Donald: You got a problem with that?

Rudy: You need to be more worried about yourself, gabron. You work for me. I work for the mob, La Familia, Casa Nostra. When China doesn’t want to get their hands dirty, they send me. They’ve already given orders to tear down one of your precious hotels. They also said to tell you that if you don’t start cooperating, Hillary is gonna win that recount. Continue reading

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Donald meets Mitt Romney

wikileaks-netbook-globe-01-03Mitt: There’s a word in Chinese. I don’t know if you’re familiar with it. Shuāngyíng. It means “both win.” It’s a business philosophy. I’ve found great success following this principle.

Donald: I invented the win-win, believe me. The Chinese got it from me.

Mitt: Now, what I did when I was running for President was place all my holdings in a blind trust. That way, I looked like I wasn’t on the payroll, and China could still pay me ridiculous amounts of money. Continue reading

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Donald Meets President Obama

wikileaks-netbook-globe-01-03President: We need to talk about China.

Donald: Love China. Love the Chinese.

President: They’re taking over the world.

Donald: Don’t I know it. Everything is made in China.

President: They’re tampering with elections. That’s why “Leave” won the Brexit vote in spite of the polling data. That’s why you were elected. Continue reading

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Donald confesses to Kellyann Conway

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Donald: I told Jeff about the “community service.”

Kellyann: Are you serious? What did I tell you not five minutes ago? You smile and wave and follow orders and keep your mouth shut. McCrory’s orders are not to concede until you assume office and declare the election invalid. Is he telling the General Assembly? No, because he’s got a brain and a survival instinct. I can do this just as easily with Pence, easier even, because he says things like, “that’s what freedom sounds like,” and not that a beloved actor should personally apologize to you for a comedy skit. I will gut you, Donald. I will gut you.

Note: This is satire. For all I know, Donald Trump’s hair is real.

Donald meets Jeff Sessions

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Wiggy Leaks – there’s a bug under that rug.

Jeff: Sir, I’d like to talk to you about the immigration justice program.

Donald: What’s on your mind?

Jeff: We estimate that if we prosecute all illegal immigrants and legal immigrants who have committed a crime, it will completely overwhelm the Justice Department. We simply don’t have enough officers.

Donald: We’re gonna coordinate with state and local law enforcement. Also, this is a matter of Homeland Security, so we’ll draw from their resources as well.

Jeff: There’s also the matter of where to house them all while they’re awaiting deportation. Continue reading

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Donald meets Vladimir Putin

Wiggy Leaks – there’s a bug under that rug.

Vladimir: Let me congratulate you on your election victory.

Donald: Thank you my friend, and let me congratulate you. You’ve got a great country and you’re doing a great job with it.

Vladimir: If I may give you a piece of advice…

Donald: Sure. Sure.

Vladimir: You should prosecute Hillary Clinton.

Donald: Absolutely. She broke the law and she should pay for it.

Vladimir: In a very public manner. Make an example of her as a lesson to those who would oppose you.

Donald: We’re already doing it, believe me. Jeff Sessions wants to do it in front of Congress.

Vladimir: He will be a capable prosecutor. Perhaps Attorney General? But not in front of Congress. Continue reading