Stand proud, America, because if Trump *didn’t* collude, that means that Putin was able to manipulate the gullible fucking moron into doing his bidding just by appealing to his bottomless vanity, and […]

Officer, in my pocket is a report that proves conclusively that I was not speeding. No, you can’t see it. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow […]

No one could have predicted that the guy who found a doctor to write a bogus note to get him out of Vietnam would find an attorney general to write a bogus […]

So the career criminal got to hand-pick his own biased chief prosecutor and that hand-picked biased chief prosecutor just ruled that the career criminal was innocent of all the crimes that everybody […]

thank god our president is a twenty-megaton tire fire with the impulse control of a ferret being tasered who takes pleasure in spitting on the grave of a dead prisoner of war, […]

Ideally, you want the President of the United States, the Mayor of Crazytown and the village idiot to be three different people. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter […]

When fascism comes to America, it will be humping a flag and carrying an unsecured iPhone in the freakishly undersized hands dangling from its useless, withered t-rex arms. Your Daily Devotional is […]

The president of the united states is cracking under the strain of multiple criminal investigations and is literally live-tweeting his own hellish descent into madness. What a time to be alive. Your […]

Sometimes I wish I had no moral compass because holy fucking shit the first thing I would do is grift these Deplorable rubes so hard that they’d be walking around wearing a […]

“Putin told me he didn’t meddle.” “Kim Jong-un told me he’s giving up his nukes.” “Bin Salman told me he didn’t kill Khashoggi.” “Boeing told me these airplanes are safe.” Hey guys […]