it’s a good thing that Brett Kavanaugh was just a blackout-drunk white frat boy sexually assaulting his way through prep school and college and then lying to Congress about it, and not, […]

farmers are bankrupt, gas prices are about to spike, the Arctic is melting and Bone Saw Arabia is goading us to war, so it’s good to know that our president has all […]

how awesome is it that when Roe v Wade is finally overturned, the deciding vote will be cast by the guy who was so blackout drunk all through high school and college […]

please tell me again how Andrew McCabe and a bunch of lifelong Republicans in the FBI colluded with Russia and Hillary to lose her own election so that Trump would win so […]

Ivanka to replace John Bolton, because Jared is busy bringing peace to the Middle East, Don Jr. is busy printing out emails and shredding them, and Eric accidentally locked himself inside the […]

the CIA had to extract their own top spy from Russia because they feared our Putin-worshiping blabbermouth president would get him killed but yes please tell me again how electing the woman […]

hey, remember when Obama spent five days arguing with a map and then browbeat two government agencies until they finally agreed to go along with his imaginary weather report? of course you […]

I’ve been searching the Bible for god-given rights and while I’ve found the right to get your father drunk and sleep with him (Genesis 19:30-38) and the right to sell your daughter […]

my favorite Bible story might be the one where Jesus tells all the sick immigrant children that they have 33 days to get their cancer-stricken asses the fuck out of Nazareth and […]