I want to be Donald Trump’s fake sign language interpreter. Basically I’d just stand next to him and make jerk-off motions with one hand. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from […]

I’m not twerking, you jackass, I’m looking for a screw that fell out of my eyeglasses. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

If you start talking about your gluten allergy, I’ll start reciting the dates and venues of every Grateful Dead show. You have been warned. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from […]

What if this universe is the alternate one? Can I get my security deposit back? Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

One thing you’ll never see is a reality show where the contestants compete for dignity. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

In my gritty reboot of 2001: A Space Odyssey, a mysterious monolith is found on the moon. Nothing is done about it after Republicans vote to defund NASA. Your Daily Devotional is […]

In my reboot of The Sound Of Music, the von Trapp family’s songs get three million plays on Spotify. They receive a royalty check for $27. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited […]

“Big Brother Is Washing You.” — pretty much the creepiest dystopia I can think of Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

“U sound HOTT! What RU wearing?” — Watson’s response to Alexander Graham Bell’s “Watson, come here, I need you.” Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me […]

I shod the sheriff, but I did not shoe the deputy. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich