Remember, it’s not whether you win or lose. What’s important is that your enemies fall into an open sewer and die. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. […]

“The Early Bird. Wrong about waking up, wrong for America. I’m the Worm and I approve this message.” Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at […]

I haven’t looked at my MySpace page in years. There’s probably a family of raccoons living in it now. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me […]

I say potato and you say how did you get into my house Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

AND ON THE EIGHTH DAY GOD CREATED AMERICA. AND HE SAW THAT IT WAS AWESOME. BUT ONE THING WAS MISSING: GUNS. SO HE TOOK A RIB FROM ADAM … Your Daily Devotional […]

My mom is writing a self-help book. It’s called “Just Snap Out Of It.” It’s one page long. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at […]

Looking at my bank balance is making me feel sad. I hope this is another Facebook social experiment. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at […]

Facebook has secretly replaced your regular coffee with Folgers Crystals. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

God grant me the serenity to GODDAMMIT WHO TOOK THE REMOTE accept the channels I cannot change FUCK IT I’LL JUST KEEP WATCHING HOARDERS Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from […]

I have Schroedinger’s bank account. As long as I don’t look at the balance, I’m not broke. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich