Thanksgiving is almost here and I can’t decide whether to dress as a slutty white imperialist invader or a slutty oppressed native. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter […]

Focus on what’s important in life: finding out who is at fault, and making them pay. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

“…and the dish ran away with the spoon.” And your wife. So you’ll be eating alone tonight. With your hands. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow […]

I hate talking to people face-to-face because when I say “gotta go, my phone battery is about to die,” they can tell I’m lying. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from […]

Yes I CAN park here, I’m *emotionally* handicapped. Don’t get your wheelchair in a twist. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

“So tell me, where do you see yourself in five years?” “Calmly walking away from explosions.” Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

America, the land of opportunity, where any child named Bush or Clinton can grow up to be president. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at […]

Never put off until tomorrow that which you can put off forever. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

Ask your doctor if emotionally dead on the inside is right for you. Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited entry from my Twitter feed. Follow me at @jefftiedrich

How to fold a fitted sheet: 1. Roughly ball the sheet up 2. Stuff the balled-up sheet into the linen closet 3. Go do anything else Your Daily Devotional is a lightly-edited […]