In defense of Karen Pence

Karen PenceWith commentary

On the one hand, I’m with Mrs. Pence on this. She took a job at a private school. A lot of people find the type of school and Mrs. Pence odious. Team anti-Pence: People still have a right to be odious in private, however publicly. Team pro-Pence: People have a right to notice what they will and observe on such.

There is no right to impunity from consequences. You can fart in a crowded elevator. You can laugh about it. You can’t make people like you after that. The pro-Pence crowd doesn’t think it’s farting in an elevator. The anti-Pence crowd does think the pro-Pence crowd is doing just that. It’s mutual.

Just as a matter of demographics, I think the handling of this was ham-fisted and short-sighted. By the numbers, one team is shrinking in size. The other is growing. I’m cynical, so I take the whole thing as just a big religiose PR stunt, otherwise we might never have heard a thing about it. That’ll play in Peoria, but it’s a hard sell to outsiders. On the other hand, it’s this kind of showiness that helps grow the other team.

Where I do part ways is with the disingenuous pearl-clutching in her defense. Personally, I see no attacks on traditional anything here. She represents what many see as a brand of extremism, part of a morbidly late heresy that has since mushroomed into newer heresies like the prosperity gospel and dominionism.

Here’s what I see as traditional – Matthew 25. I’ve only been fixating on this for a few decades now, so I’ve picked up a notion or three. I’m a nerd. If anyone wants to go through some translations and commentaries, I always have an interest.

There’s little messing around with parables to get people confused, which is interesting, because I’m talking about the parable of The Sheep and the Goats (again). It’s such an important parable He spells it out in no uncertain terms when He’s done. It’s one of the clearest passages of Scripture one can find, and it takes a special kind of diabolical discernment to find other passages that prove Jesus wrong here. God (see what I did there?) says to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, care for the sick, visit the prisoner, and take in the stranger. There’s some fine print about eternal punishment for not doing those things. It must be fine print considering how that part gets glossed over during all the religiose excuses for not doing them because discernment or something.

Here’s some things He didn’t say:

Means test them first.
Make sure they have their papers
Make sure they’re the right color.
Make sure they speak English.
Make sure they worship Me and only Me.
Make sure they aren’t making graven images. Idols. Idols. You don’t speak ancient Hebrew, so you’re not really sure what I mean there.
Make sure they aren’t taking My name in vain.
Make sure they keep the Sabbath. I’m sure you remember all the rules for that, so you’ll know when you see it being broken.
Make sure they respect their parents.
Make sure they haven’t stolen anything or murdered anyone.
Make sure they aren’t unfaithful to their spouses.
Make sure they don’t lie about their neighbors. Don’t worry. You’ll figure out what a neighbor is one day.
Make sure they don’t desire other people’s stuff.

And most especially, above all other considerations, make sure they only have heterosexual sex in a traditional Jewish marriage comprising several wives, maybe even their brother’s widow, and a few concubines. Also maybe a girl they raped when she was a child, but only if they have a receipt for the money they paid to her dad afterward.

Most, most especially, make sure they don’t have the gay. They cannot have the gay before you help them.

For that matter, all those things I’ve said or will say about not judging people because that’s My job? Forget that with the gays. You just judge them right up for me.

When they ask for something good, give them adders.

Go out of your way to exclude them. Various brown people are okay to oppress, too, but most especially anyone with the gay.

Judge the gays privately. Then judge them publicly. Judge them to two friends, and tell them to judge the gays to two friends.

That’s how to love them.

Forget every other sin where the gay is concerned.

You’ll know you’re on the right track when your laws say you must (not merely can) bring them before the proper authorities for a proper execution.

But don’t worry, if you can’t wait, I’ll look the other way while you kill them now.

Failing that, just get in their way of doing all the non-gay things in life like existing, buying things, using things, doing jobs, knowing people, loving some of them without touching, even.

All those other sins are sins you’re only doing when you’re doing the sin. You’re not fornicating while shopping and looking at the canned peas. Please tell me you’re not doing that. That’s just one of those unwritten things.

But the gay? A gay is doing the gay when they do anything. They gay make their beds, and gay cook the breakfast. They gay eat the breakfast and gay wash the dishes. Then they gay their way through their all gay day, gaying up everything they touch.

When you see a gay person walking dressed down the street having polite conversation? They’re actually gay copulating right then. It’s not like when you walk down the street, dressed, and have polite conversation.

Make their lives a living Hell. Would you do that for Me?

Stand on your street corners (and, one day, the internet, but you wouldn’t understand yet) and pray loudly. Pray fiercely. And denounce the stuffing out of the gay more than just about anything else. Your reward will be immediate, and our account will be balanced.

Oh, wait. That’s a great many things He didn’t say, but He pretty much did say that last thing, minus a couple of embellishments. I’m still trying to find the passages with His hiring policies, though. Anyone have a reference?

Lest anyone think I’m being horrible or encouraging something horrible, here’s a head-scratcher. However angry I ever sound, am I not even then advocating for love?

Even when I get it wrong, do I tend to err in favor of hate or in favor of love?

Don’t I usually make it clear that none of this should be taken on the word of a rando on the internet? I always encourage deep study and prayer on these things where the faithful are concerned.

And lest anyone is tempted to quote Shakespeare at me while thinking they’re quoting Scripture, even a devil who quotes Scripture would be doing a weird thing were he to suggest a) listening specifically to G-d/Jesus, and b) praying when unsure what he means.

One might also note that at no time have I herein encouraged a single sin. Until we get the newsflash to the contrary, this is still the USA, freedom of religion is still about individual choice, and different people are going to have different notions about everything from creation to the Law to the Prophets to the Messiah to grace and redemption. As a differently subjective observer, I might just offer that the team with the losing demographics might want to hope that the team with the growing demographic strength doesn’t decide to take up personal sin as their rallying cry against the shrinking team. It might not be the gay. After all, there’s plenty of abominations in the Bible. The next abomination could be yours. Do you only eat kosher? Here’s an Orthodox rabbi. Ask him. After all, Jesus was Jewish. Maybe the rabbi knows something about the Law and the Prophets.