American Culture

How to be a Christian

Start going to church. Shop around. Find one that makes you challenge yourself. Read C.S. Lewis. Begin to see the world as space-time fabricated from human lives interweaving and supporting one another. Accept that objective reality exists and that many of your words and actions are objectively evil. Fail to change.

Get received into the Church. Feel different. Called. Start talking about Christianity to people outside of church. Go to choir camp. Discover that fellowship is practice for Christian living. Realize you are capable of change. Fail to change.

Be reborn. Your giant extended family will become closer. All is forgiven. Aunt Nancy will reveal a dream in which your dead grandfather says, “There’s a storm about to cross 109.” Find yourself shocked by the sex, violence, and profanity in your favorite movies. Fail to change.

Your belief in objective reality will be challenged. Friends and relatives will disagree on basic facts. Casuistic excuses for immoral behavior will make the whole world hypocrites. How can you change the world if you can’t even change yourself?

People will act weird, like you’re homeless. Professional caregivers will express concern about your mental health. Tell them the good news of Jesus Christ. Realize you’ve changed dramatically over the past five years. Pray it will be enough.

Categories: American Culture, Religion, United States

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3 replies »

  1. That’s a bit of a narrow view on Christianity, and, broadly, a bit of a narrow view on religion in general, isn’t it? (besides, a lot of C.S. Lewis’ stuff is frankly, wacky)

      • My wife used to have that as our answering machine message. “May the Lord Bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you.” One time some guy left “You’ve got to be kidding me” and hung up.

        Our phone number is close the Holiday Inn number and we get a lot of calls for them. I wonder if he thought that was the Holiday Inn message in this podunk town.

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