Dear John McCain: either DO something or shut the fuck up

Profiles in Courage: the Straight Talks a Lot of Shit Express is back in town.

angry-john-mccainTough-talking Mavericky McMaverickstain is at it again, standing on his lawn and shaking his cane at Der Orangeführer like he just got caught cheating at Mah-Jong over at the home.

Senator John McCain, defending the media against the latest attack by President Donald Trump, warned that suppressing the free press was “how dictators get started”.

The Arizona Republican, a frequent critic of Trump, was responding to a tweet in which Trump accused the media of being “the enemy of the American people”.

“If you want to preserve – I’m very serious now – if you want to preserve democracy as we know it, you have to have a free and many times adversarial press. And without it, I am afraid that we would lose so much of our individual liberties over time. That’s how dictators get started,” he continued.

“They get started by suppressing free press. In other words, a consolidation of power. When you look at history, the first thing that dictators do is shut down the press.

Ummm. Are you talking about anybody in particular, Senator?

No, no.

And I’m not saying that President Trump is trying to be a dictator. I’m just saying we need to learn the lessons of history,” McCain said.

See? He’s just saying.

He also says he’s worried about the president.

McCain was asked on NBC’s “Meet The Press” how much confidence he has on the current commander in chief.

“Well, I worry. I worry about the president’s understanding of some of these issues and his contradictory articulations,” McCain said.

“I worry about statements which upset our friends at a time when the strains on the European Union and Europeans are greater than they have been since any time since the end of the Cold War,” he said.

He also said he had concerns about the addition of the president’s chief strategist, Stephen Bannon, to the National Security Council.

“In Mr. Bannon’s role as both political advisor and member of the National Security Council, I’m very worried about,” he said.

If you’ve been paying attention these past few decades, you’re well acquainted with the Straight Talk Express. And you’re equally familiar with the Mealy-Mouthed Whipped Bitch Flip-Flopping Express that’s always a mile or two behind it. If you haven’t been paying attention, allow Jon Stewart to get you up to speed.

This isn’t the first time Sen. McCain has wagged his finger sharply at Donald. The Arizona Republic has a wonderful catalogue of the ongoing “feud,” and here are a few of the high spots:

  • June 30, 2015: “I just disagree with his comments about the, quote, Mexicans.”
  • July 10, 2015: “I just think that it is offensive to not only Hispanic citizenry, but other citizenry, but he’s entitled to say what he wants to say. But I guarantee you the overwhelming majority (in Arizona) … do not agree with his attitude, that he has displayed, toward our Hispanic citizens. We love them.”
  • July 16, 2015: “…what he did was he fired up the crazies.”
  • April 19, 2016: McCain announced he would not attend the Republican National Convention in July, where Trump would accept the party’s nomination.
  • May 5, 2016: “Because I’m a proud Republican. I am a Ronald Reagan-Teddy Roosevelt Republican and I support the Republican Party. And the Republicans have chosen the nominee for the party. I think that makes sense.”
  • Aug. 1, 2016: McCain hit Trump over his attack on the parents of U.S. Army Capt. Humayun Khan, who was killed in action in Iraq in 2004. However, McCain did not withdraw his support of Trump.
  • Oct. 4, 2016: McCain stood up for Trump with regard to comments Trump made about soldiers with post-traumatic stress disorder; McCain suggested the media left out the context and distorted Trump’s meaning.
  • November 2016: Post-election, McCain, the Senate Armed Services Committee chairman signals to The Arizona Republic that he will stand up to Trump as necessary: “I am not a rubber stamp. There are maybe 100 Department of Defense positions that require Senate confirmation. I believe that the Constitution requires advice and consent (of the Senate).”
  • Feb. 9, 2017: Trump took to Twitter again in February to attack McCain following the Arizona senator’s criticism of the White House’s characterizing of a raid in Yemen as as a “huge success,” despite the death of a Navy SEAL. “When you lose a $75 million airplane and, more importantly, an American life is lost and wounded I don’t believe you can call it a success,” McCain said to NBC News.
  • Feb. 17, 2017: McCain spoke at the 2017 Munich Security Conference and warned world leaders against isolationism in an apparent blast at his fellow Republican’s policies and worldview. “The next panel asks us to consider whether the West will survive. In recent years, this question would invite accusations of hyperbole and alarmism. Not this year. If ever there were a time to treat this question with a deadly seriousness, it is now.” At the summit, McCain called on world leaders to take seriously his fears over the president’s policies. According to a transcript posted on McCain’s website, the senator went on to target Trump’s signature enforcement orders and world view.

Clearly, then, Sen. McMaverickstain has been a constant thorn in the president’s side since the moment he took office. Right? Right?

Ummm. Well, as it turns out, Sen. Talk Loudly and Simper Like a Whipped Cur (that’s the Navajo translation of “McCain,” I think) has acted on his principles by only voting with Donald a scant 94.4% of the time. (Rubber stamp that, Cheeto-face!)


Granted, this is pretty good compared to the rest of his GOP colleagues, most of whom vote with Donald 100% of the time. Still, calling 94.4% mavericky is like calling that guy in the local KKK chapter who only wants to go out and burn crosses in the negro neighborhood once a week instead of the usual twice a champion for racial justice.

Let’s look at how he voted on Donald’s slate of nominees (some of whom are grossly unqualified while at least one is just flat-out wackadoodle).


To review:

  • Mad Dog Mattis, Defense: CONFIRM
  • John Kelly, Ministry of Homeland Security: CONFIRM
  • Mike Pompeo, CIA: CONFIRM
  • Nikki Haley, UN: CONFIRM
  • Elaine Chao, Transportation: CONFIRM
  • Rex Tillerson, Dept. of State: CONFIRM
  • Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, Attorney General: CONFIRM
  • Betsy “Grizzly” DeVos, Education: CONFIRM
  • Tom Price, Health & Human Services: CONFIRM
  • David Shulkin, Veterans Affairs: CONFIRM
  • Steven Mnuchin, Treasury: CONFIRM

I know. I figured Sessions middle name would be “Davis,” too. McCain didn’t cast a vote on Environmental Destruction Agency nominee Scott Pruitt. Must have been sick that day, although it had to kill him that he couldn’t show up and stick it to Donald one more time.

This is the McCain brand: Talk shit. Apply Chapstick. Drop to knees.

He’s always asked us to believe he was a moderate, a deal-maker, a principled line in the sand, a straight-talking, take no gump off nobody paragon of courage and morality. And when push comes to shove, he’s your puffed up, gutless brother-in-law who never met a fight he wouldn’t run from.

Take this to the bank: McCain will keep talking the talk but he will never, ever, no matter what the stakes, walk the walk.

If they ever build a statue to John McCain, it should be based on this photograph:

McCain hugs Bush

Although somewhere there’s bound to be a shot of him rimming Trump. Putin probably has it.

Maybe we should wait for that one to surface.

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