Donald hires Ben Carson

wikileaks-netbook-globe-01-03Ben: You know I’m not qualified for this job, Donald. I turned down Surgeon General and I’m a surgeon.

Donald: Franklin Graham told me The Lord is with me. You showed the faith of a child on the campaign trail. I want you in my corner. Just to bring you up to speed, China is attempting a hostile takeover of our country and we’re going to stop them. Now, what are we going to do about the inner cities?

Ben: We have a saying sir, pardon the indelicate language, “The rent is to darn-diddly high.”

Donald: I’ve heard it. I’m a landlord.

Ben: The office of Housing and Urban Development confronts this problem, partially, although it’s difficult to rise above poverty when you’re surrounded by it. Jesus is very clear on the question of the poor. As we do unto them, so we do unto Him.

Donald: Jesus in the projects. I’d watch that show.

Ben: The Chinese plan is almost certainly to build their unique brand of factory towns here. Remember Foxcon, where your smartphone was made. The wages are high, but so is the rent in the dormitory, so is the cost of food at the factory store. People find themselves trapped in a cycle of debt slavery. Foxcon had to install suicide nets because so many workers were attempting to kill themselves, because there was no escape.

Donald: That’s the opposite of the American dream.

Ben: You have to say “Let my people go.” You have to say it in a way they can’t ignore you. And you have to believe that God will deliver you.

Donald: Fear not, Ben. I can move mountains. I’ve done it before.

Note: This is satire.