Donald meets Jeff Sessions


Wiggy Leaks – there’s a bug under that rug.

Jeff: Sir, I’d like to talk to you about the immigration justice program.

Donald: What’s on your mind?

Jeff: We estimate that if we prosecute all illegal immigrants and legal immigrants who have committed a crime, it will completely overwhelm the Justice Department. We simply don’t have enough officers.

Donald: We’re gonna coordinate with state and local law enforcement. Also, this is a matter of Homeland Security, so we’ll draw from their resources as well.

Jeff: There’s also the matter of where to house them all while they’re awaiting deportation.

Donald: FEMA camps.

Jeff: Is that a real thing?

Donald: Of course it is. Alex Jones says it is. Everybody says it is.

Jeff: We may encounter difficulty proving the nationalities of illegal immigrants who do not have papers, and foreign governments are unlikely to be helpful if they’re already overloaded.

Donald: Who do you think is going to build the wall?

Jeff: You want to use slave labor?

Donald: Bannon says to call it “community service.” They are criminals, after all, and this way we can say Mexico is paying for it.

Jeff: I’m not entirely comfortable with this plan, sir.

Donald: Believe me it’s fine. It’s in the Bible. I’ve been reading the Bible since those punks at Liberty University called me out on it. In Egypt there were too many immigrants, so Pharoah put them to work building a giant monument in the desert. Very smart.

Jeff: You do know what happened to Pharoah and the Egyptians, right?

Donald: Haven’t got there yet. Don’t spoil it for me.

Note: This is satire. For all I know, Donald Trump’s hair is real.