Donald meets Vladimir Putin

Wiggy Leaks – there’s a bug under that rug.

Vladimir: Let me congratulate you on your election victory.

Donald: Thank you my friend, and let me congratulate you. You’ve got a great country and you’re doing a great job with it.

Vladimir: If I may give you a piece of advice…

Donald: Sure. Sure.

Vladimir: You should prosecute Hillary Clinton.

Donald: Absolutely. She broke the law and she should pay for it.

Vladimir: In a very public manner. Make an example of her as a lesson to those who would oppose you.

Donald: We’re already doing it, believe me. Jeff Sessions wants to do it in front of Congress.

Vladimir: He will be a capable prosecutor. Perhaps Attorney General? But not in front of Congress. You must be absolutely certain of the outcome. Some members of Congress may have political motivations.

Donald: That’s good thinking. Always know the judge.

Vladimir: Now as to our Syria problem…

Donald: It’s a disaster.

Vladimir: I believe the solution is obvious.

Donald: So do I. Full scale invasion.

Vladimir: An excellent idea Mister President. Americans and Russians will fight side by side, the old Allies reunited. Of course, we will need the sanctions lifted to be fully effective.

Donald: Consider it done. Anything you need. America is gonna start winning wars again. Total victory. Ticker-tape parades.

Vladimir: You will be very popular. You will be reelected easily. Perhaps the term limits will have to be removed.

Donald: Let the people decide, not the politicians.

Vladimir: Now Mister President, as I help you make America great again, I must ask you to help me make Russia great again also. Many of the protectorates in our sphere of influence have abandoned our alliance and now languish in poverty and corruption.

Donald: That is tragic. You know California wanted to secede after I was elected?

Vladimir: How did that make you feel?

Donald: It was very rude, and very, very foolish. They’d be nothing without me.

Vladimir: We quite understand each other. The Russians in Ukraine and many other places are suffering for another reason, also. Many have joined NATO, which trapped them unfairly into debt obligations. Some are facing bankruptcy.

Donald: I have been there, and believe me, it is not good.

Vladimir: It is my wish to restore Russia to her former glory and end this painful chapter of of mismanagement and foreign control.

Donald: I know what that’s like, too.

Vladimir: Thanks Obama.


Donald: Mister President you have my full cooperation.

Vladimir: Thank you Mister President.

Note: This is satire. As far as I know, Donald Trump’s hair is real.