Donald meets Henry Kissinger

Wiggy Leaks – There’s a bug under that rug.

Donald: First, I gotta ask this. Where did you go wrong?

Henry: I’ve been advising Presidents for fifty years, including President Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Donald: So you hang around with losers. But you were a loser first. You’re like a thousand years old.

Henry: I have shaped the course of history.

Donald: History is boring. History is what we use to punish coaches that lose football games.

Henry: You will shape the course of history as president.

Donald: It’s about to get a whole lot better, believe me. Cue the explosions. I look great walking away from explosions.

Henry: Violence is a regrettable necessity when nations find themselves in unresolvable conflicts. We try to minimize…

Donald: Maximize. America wins wars. That’s what makes us great.

Henry: We also lose wars.

Donald: Correction. You lose wars. We used to win all the time until you showed up.

Henry: Actually, it was the advent of television, whereon journalists could show the horrific reality of war, that caused the political will to win wars to erode.

Donald: You don’t need to worry about journalists anymore. Just figure out how to beat China.

Henry: I will not help you start a war with the most populous nation on the planet.

Donald: Don’t worry, I’ll get it started. You just better figure out how to finish it.

Note: This is satire. As far as I know, Donald Trump’s hair is real.