Wiggy Leaks – There’s a bug under that rug.
Donald: First, I gotta ask this. Where did you go wrong?
Henry: I’ve been advising Presidents for fifty years, including President Obama and Hillary Clinton.
Donald: So you hang around with losers. But you were a loser first. You’re like a thousand years old.
Henry: I have shaped the course of history.
Donald: History is boring. History is what we use to punish coaches that lose football games.
Henry: You will shape the course of history as president.
Donald: It’s about to get a whole lot better, believe me. Cue the explosions. I look great walking away from explosions.
Henry: Violence is a regrettable necessity when nations find themselves in unresolvable conflicts. We try to minimize…
Donald: Maximize. America wins wars. That’s what makes us great.
Henry: We also lose wars.
Donald: Correction. You lose wars. We used to win all the time until you showed up.
Henry: Actually, it was the advent of television, whereon journalists could show the horrific reality of war, that caused the political will to win wars to erode.
Donald: You don’t need to worry about journalists anymore. Just figure out how to beat China.
Henry: I will not help you start a war with the most populous nation on the planet.
Donald: Don’t worry, I’ll get it started. You just better figure out how to finish it.
Note: This is satire. As far as I know, Donald Trump’s hair is real.