I wept for my country this morning.

To say I feel sucker punched by Trump’s win is an understatement. “Sucker punched” falls so far short of how I actually feel today that it’s absurd.

Let me try to describe how I feel.

Remember at around noon on September 11, 2001, after all the planes had crashed, both towers had fallen, and the Pentagon was in flames. Remember how you felt a sense of dread, of horror, of unfathomable grief that seemed like it might never fade. That’s how I feel today.

But worse.

Because on September 11, 2001, we were attacked by 19 men, 19 outsiders. Yesterday I was attacked by 59 million of my fellow citizens. My co-workers. My neighbors.

Yesterday, 59 million people told me that I live in an America that is as alien to me as China. Or Russia. Or South Africa.

Yesterday, 59 million people showed me that my values – fairness, honesty, respect, equality, even the fundamental nature of reality as discovered through science – are not actually American values.

59 million attackers.

59 million alienations.

59 million betrayals.

This is how I feel.

I’m not done weeping for my country. I’m sure that I have tears yet unshed even for the rest of the world, facing the reality of President Trump. I can only hope that, as it did after September 11, my unfathomable grief eventually transforms into an unquenchable fire deep within my soul. But that takes time.

And the grief of today will not soon fade.