Did Russia poison Hillary? An inductive argument

clinton-collapse-696x385Dear Hillary,

Get rid of all your stuff. I know I sound like Inconvenient Jesus right now. Just do it. All the pantsuits, all the jewelry, all the hairspray, the mouthwash, everything, especially the sentimental stuff. If you can’t pass through the eye of the needle, the road ends here.

Change your eating habits, too. The raw jalapeño you eat every morning? Not anymore. Whoever gets your coffee needs to find something else to do, because that job just went the way of coal mining. The military terminology is “core brands,” but the general idea is that you know everything about the supply chain, so there’s no possible way for the enemy to degrade your capabilities.

I don’t know if the Russians are responsible for the DNC hack, but if they are, electronic infiltration is the least of your worries. The KGB was so good at poisoning people that there are zero official deaths, plenty of circumstantial evidence, to be sure, but nothing traceable.

Lots of people in America are afraid of “The Clintons” and what they’re willing to do in their quest for power. I’m one of those people. But “The Clintons” are a low stakes pool-hall hustle compared to the espionage apparatus currently freelancing in the former Soviet Union.

One of their favorite techniques is “delivery by trusted source.” When Chelsea, or Bill, hands you something, you never think to ask who sold it to them, do you? Another choice method is “the return,” in which they steal something that belongs to you, lace it with poison, and then return it. Another is the “offer you can’t refuse,” in which they place something in your path, which they know you want, at a price you can’t resist.

The alt-Right is gloating that Donald Trump has a crystal ball, that he started the rumor about a health scare and the evidence miraculously appeared. I think there’s a simpler explanation: the evidence was precipitated by exposure to an undetectable or temporarily detectable poison.

The famous forensic pathologist Bennet Omalu, who discovered CTE (to the dismay of the NFL), agrees with me. Forget politics and spin control and think about your continued survival. If you don’t know what’s wrong, and the doctors don’t know what’s wrong, change the status quo. You’d rather be caught doing something than doing nothing, right?

The KGB likes radioactivity, so get yourself a Geiger Counter, but they also like cyanide and a whole bunch of other poisons. If it is as you say, and the Russians are out to get you, please understand that it goes way deeper than cyber security. They will kill you if they get the chance. Do not give them that chance.

1 reply »

  1. I completely agree with this assessment. The GRU/SVR/Spetsnaz are on a mission to so badly disrupt this year’s election that it discredits American democratic processes and by extension Western forms of government. It could be something even worse – a prelude to more aggressive and extensive conventional and non conventional attacks in a variety of battle spaces – but that is speculation at this point. For sure, the threat matrix for any political candidates deemed inconvenient by GRU/SVR/Spetsnaz is substantial.