American Culture

Mayweather/Pacquiao review: three things to know

Welcome to the Fall of Rome.

1: Mayweather won a unanimous decision. Just like everyone who has been paying at least a little attention knew he would. Yawn.

2: I keep hearing people calling this the “fight of the century.” And by people, I mean beefwitted sports talk assclowns. Listen, douchenozzles, nothing involving two guys ten years past their primes who have combined to knock out zero opponents in the last six or seven years is a fight of the anything, let alone century. Unless that century is very, very sad. There was a pull-apart rager last week down at the assisted care facility over which is better, tapioca pudding or chocolate, that was at least as compelling.

3: Manny Pacquiao is a repulsive neanderthal homophobe. Excuse me, I meant “Christian.” Floyd Mayweather has been arrested for beating up women … I think it’s seven times, now, although I haven’t checked the news today so that number could have climbed a little. (At least he can still knock somebody out, right?) And the public fell all over themselves throwing cash at the two of them. It’s a shame they couldn’t have found a way to add OJ, Mike Vick and Rae Carruth to the card and make it a Fatal Five-Way.

If America ever did have a soul, it was sold long ago to the carnival barkers who comprise our media/entertainment complex. If you contributed a penny to this pork orgy, shame on you.

Fuck us. We deserve whatever happens.

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