Good sex is when two nervous systems become one. It’s selfless, literally. A completely unrelated type of good sex is when two nervous systems generate a new nervous system through physical contact. If you combine these two types of good sex you get the best sex ever, and a wonderful new nervous system. Both parents love each other as much as they love themselves and they love the kid even more. If they have the resources to thrive, bet on it.
Unfortunately this is not the case all the time. Sometimes sex is selfish: rape, abuse, harrassment, the perpetrator gets off on it. That’s why it happens. Why do they get off on it? Because that is their experience of sex. Why is their experience of sex different than the experience described in the previous paragraph? Taboo. If you censor pornography it just goes underground, because it is necessary in our current society. It must be rendered obselete, through education.
Pornography is based on the concept of voyeurism, nonparticipation, isolation, self. Even if it is tame by modern standards, it conditions you to focus only on yourself. There is no sex partner. It makes you worse at real sex. Masturbation makes you worse at real sex, too, but it doesn’t come with the associated images/stereotypes/norms of pornography. Masturbation might hurt your performance if you get laid later. Pornography makes you hate women. Not fear. Just hate.
Pornography is targeted exclusively at men, mostly men inexperienced with sex. Pornography is their sex education. This means they believe sex partners exist only for their personal pleasure. They don’t know about the two nervous systems becoming one. They think if the woman is screaming she’s just having a good time. They think rape is a fetish you can choose. It’s a slave market. Do you like blondes? Brunettes? Asians?
It teaches young men to think of young women as something they can or cannot have instead of someone they do or do not love. This was revealed in India. The gang rape on the bus scenario. It’s because there is no sex education. Young men watch pornography and think that it is real sex. Perhaps the institutions of higher learning in the USA, instead of sweeping the problem under the rug, could get down to the business of sex education.
There are more women than men in this world. They are hidden behind the veil of sexual taboo. We can only solve these problems by opening our ears and letting the women speak. Myriad problems. Pornography is just another brick in the wall. But if we can stop the rape epidemic from spreading, that would be a good start.