Irwin Mainway would be proud. Even he would have a hard time topping this headline: “Toys R Us pulls meth-toting ‘Breaking Bad’ action figures from shelves after Florida mom’s protest.”
The dolls, based on the recently concluded AMC series, featured characters based on White, a meth-cooking high school science teacher, and his sidekick, Jesse Pinkman. Along with the action figures, the toys came with fake bags of meth, sacks of cash and gas masks.
For those of you not old enough to remember, Irwin Mainway was a sleazy toy salesman who was perennially grilled about his dangerous toys (such as “Bag of Glass”) by Jane Curtin on the “Consumer Probe” skit. The toys were over-the-top ridiculous.
The Breaking Bad action figures, though, those are real: Walter White, Walter White’s Heisenberg persona (above), Jesse Pinkman, and Gus Fring. They are made by the oddly named “Mezco” toy company. You can even buy a creepy bright pink teddy bear (with missing eye). Guess they are saving the Saul Goodman figure for after the new series starts.
Oh, and take a look at the accessories. Yep–that’s a gun, a bad of cash, and a bag of (fake) meth.
Susan Schrivjer, the Florida mom, started a Change.org petition to convince Toys-R-Us to stop selling the toys. Toys-R-Us got the message. I would love to be a fly on the wall at their corporate headquarters this week, “And WHOSE bright idea was it to stock these toys?”
I would also love to see Santa’s face when 10-year-old Junior reads his Christmas, “Hi Santa. I’d like a Walter White Action figure with bag of meth and cash accessories. There isn’t a Skyler doll, so can you bring me a Barbie? Barbie’s hotter anyway. Oh, and a Chemistry set. And lots of pseudoephedrine.”
Junior has plans.
His sister stopped playing with her Barbies a while back. But the old Barbie Winnebago is still tucked in the back of her closet. A little gut job and some remodeling and Junior’s Walt can have his own portable meth lab.
That model train under the tree? Wait until that stops for an extended period of time at the crossroads back in the corner of the living room.
Just watch out for the packets of Stevia in the sugar bowl.
In case you’ve a mind to purchase some of the highly desirable playthings, don’t worry, they’re still for sale at K-Mart and Sears. Oh, and at that fine wholesome family retail establishment, Walmart.
I’ll leave you with a few words of wisdom from Mr. Irwin Mainway himself: