Business/Finance

If corporations are people, what about capital punishment?

Pun intended

It’s about damned time we remembered that corporations are chartered and that charters can be revoked. If they’re actually people, would that be the death penalty? On those terms, I am not opposed.

In aid of that cause, I recommend passing this absolutely brilliant idea by one Mr. Kyle Noonan along to your Congressperson at your earliest convenience. Send letters to your editors. Make a noise. There’s apparently good reasons why our current corporate sanctions don’t work, largely owing to the inability of state attorneys general to recognize the greater need of the nation as compared to their own state revenues and jobs. That, and like vultures, other states are just waiting in the wings waiting to pick up the pieces of the carcass and resurrect them back home. I can’t help it. They’re magical vultures.

Just a couple of dead, crow-cleaned examples on pikes should make all the difference as stock prices take strategic punches to the junk. The huge institutional investors should either finally go too far in attempting to influence government policy, perhaps risking impalement enemas themselves, or should, I hope, place some calls to key movers and shakers with a simple message, “whatever you’re doing, knock it the fuck off. They’re calling for pikes. And pointy enemas. With the pikes!”

As usual, Lee Camp takes this point and swats it out of the park in his inimitable style.

 

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Image credit: Lee Camp. Follow him on Facebook if you don’t already. And that’s your thing. Because it would be weird and creepy and stalkery if that’s not your thing. We’re not affiliated or anything, so I can’t really speak for him, even a little, but I think he would like it. No, not the creepy, stalkery part. Just follow him already, will ya? Just. Not all creepy like.

6 replies »

  1. Thanks, Frank. I’d always thought that charter revocation was a relatively “simple” idea (well, except for that whole, “damn, what about all those jobs and revenues thing?), and was surprised to learn why it’s so complicated with revocation only being in the states’ hands while it’s the feds who do the vast majority of the regulation without any actual painful punishment powers. I’m as leary as a Tea Partier when it comes to expanding federal power in many respects, but this is one where I’d be keen to hang Uncle Sam the head ax and say, “let ‘er rip.”

    • I read the Noonan paper and passed it on to a lawyer friend for comment Frank, it seemed a well spoken synopsis of what the law might look like. It’s a travesty to incarcerate people for petty theft after multiple convictions but let Corporate officers pillage and plunder millions at will with barely a raised eyebrow.

      Donald Trump and his never ending succession of bankruptcies comes to mind in this context as well. The 3rd time someone screws all their employees and vendors while keeping their boats and houses, that’s it. They should be banned from business for life. I’m an honest businessman and I’m tired of my unethical brethren being made out as heroes for ruining people’s live.

      …as an aside I think enemas by definition would be liquid, but perhaps frozen probes administered anally with a cheery, “Don’t worry you thieving corporate bastard, it’ll melt in a couple hours” `would be a suitable compromise. Pykrete comes to mind, amazing stuff if you’re not familiar with it.

  2. Thanks for passing that along like you did, Frank. Please do keep us posted as to your friend’s assessment, and thanks for sharing yours. Considering my limited chops in the subject area, it’s validating to say the least!

    I’m completely with you on the resentment against unethical business owners. Our free market isn’t free when con artists steal not just their victims’ and employees’ resources, but also effectively steal legitimate opportunities from good, hard-working, honest folks. There’s nothing Trump has done that a good American couldn’t have done, done better, and to everyone’s benefit.

    Gonna have to look into this pykrete you speak of *evil grins*

  3. Just looked into pykrete. My fellow Montanans are gonna love this if they haven’t already heard of it!

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