Tim Tebow, the St. Louis Rams and the Sadie Hawkins Day Dance Massacre

As explained to me by my 14 year-old daughter, Chloe.

So, the St. Louis Rams had their star QB Sam Bradford, who is majorly hot, go down for the season with a knee injury? And word is Tim Tebow was thinking here was his chance – an NFL team needs a quarterback and he’s an NFL quarterback? But the Rams didn’t call him? No, they called Brett Favre. You know, 44 year-old Brett Favre, who hasn’t played in like three years? And the last time he was playing he was throwing 19 picks against only 11 TDs? And these days he’s all out of shape because he’s hanging out with his grandson and telling reporters he’s really worried about the impact that all those hits to the head did to him? And instead of calling Tebow, the Rams have decided to start Kellen Clemens? I know, right?

ME: Wait. He’s 44 and has grandchildren?

CHLOE: I know, right? Like, Mississippi much?

Anyhoo, if you’re Timmeh that has to hurt. I mean, that’s like there’s this girl you have a huge crush on and two weeks before the Sadie Hawkins Day Dance her boyfriend moves to another state? Now’s your chance! Surely she’ll ask you. You’re, like, the most eligible guy in school who doesn’t have a date? And you’re a virgin! What girl isn’t into that, right?

But she doesn’t. She asks that pizza-faced clarinet player in the band. And he says no!

Well, that stings. But still, surely she’ll ask you now, right? I mean, you don’t want to think about it in these words, exactly, but who’s left?

But she doesn’t. She shows up at the dance with her brother!

Like, OMG, Dad. I feel so bad for poor Tebow.

Categories: Funny, Sports