Politics/Law/Government

Barry buys a car at GOP Motors

Barry needs a new car. Something spiffy to show off, so people know he’s a big deal, an important guy, a man for all seasons. So he heads down to GOP Motors. Those guys always have nice cars.

“I need a car,” he says.

“Oh, it’s you again,” says Mr. Haney, the senior sales rep, brightening appreciably. “Which one you like?”

“Well, that big silver BiPartisan luxury sedan looks awful nice. How much?”

“What you looking to pay?” says Mr. Haney.

“I reckon I could go $35,000 for it, long as you throw in floormats.”

“Lord, Barry, you’re killing me. I can’t possibly let this fine automobile go for that little. Tell you what, I think I can get my sales manager to let you have it for $50,000.”

Barry thinks, scratches his head. “I don’t know, Mr. Haney. That’s a lot of money. How about we say…$55,000?”

Haney pauses for a second, hits replay on that last sentence to make sure he heard it right. “How much did you say?”

“Oh, all right. $60,000.”

Haney stares at him for a few seconds. Figures maybe he’s being punk’d, but okay, he’ll play along. “If I let you have it for that I’m losing money. My manager will fire me. Can you go to, say, $75,000?”

Barry whistles through his teeth. “Man, you drive a hard bargain, Mr. Haney. I don’t know if I can do $75,000. The little lady would kill me. Tell you what, $80,000 and no floormats.”

Haney, getting into the bargaining spirit, yelps like a bit hound dog. “JESUS AND MARY, Barry! I’ve got a family to feed. I can maybe go to $90,000, but not a penny less.”

Barry sprouts a satisfied grin and extends his hand. “We seem to have agreed on $100,000 even.”

Haney takes his hand, trying to stifle the urge to dance around the lot. It’s been a pleasure doing business to you.”

In other news….

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