Party-pooping White House doesn’t think states should secede

Well, this is certainly disappointing. All those people who signed all those petitions for secession on the White House website are going to be like soooo annoyed. I mean, what’s the point of petitioning for secession rights for South Carolina, North Carolina, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, Texas, and Louisiana if White House is just going to blow you off? I even signed the one for Texas, and I don‘t even live there. Here’s the White House response. Notice that it’s full of namby-pamby happy talk about getting engaged and working together to solve our problems. What’s that all about? And where was Mississippi while this was going on? Someone slipped up there.

Meanwhile, the lead story in The New York Times for much of the day today was about the soaring rate of gun sales in America since Obama’s re-election, driven by the usual tin-foil hat paranoia that Obama’s black helicopters are going to break down your front door and take away everyone’s slingshots or something. Why will I not be surprised if it turns out that these soaring gun sales come from those states that want to, you know, secede? Just saying. It’s not like they’re not already armed to the teeth, but you never know. Honestly, if you want to take your semi-automatic hunting rifles and go home, don’t let us stop you. Wait, it’s the White House that’s stopping you. Where’s Mitt Romney when you need him?

Honestly, you have to laugh. People really thought that a petition to the White House to let South Carolina secede would lead to…what, exactly? Secession? And then what? The state with one of the lowest literacy rates and highest violent crime rates in the United States is somehow going to manage to surive as an independent country? On what? Abandoned military bases?  We’ve been over this ground before. It won’t work—those states, with the possible exception of Texas and Florida, are all dirt poor, and can’t possibly afford to support themselves. The amount of magical thinking here is astonishing, but we should be used to that there days. What do these places have going for them aside from college football and right to work laws? I suppose they could set up a football league to rival the NFL, but I suspect it would look more like the CFL. Still, points for trying.

Oh, and you know what else? The White House won’t support construction of the Death Star either. Something about “The Administration does not support blowing up planets,” and it costing about $850,000,000,000,000,000. Typical of the Democrats to wuss out. Thank god Paul Ryan is already looking presidential.

Update (January 16)–The White House, obviously fed up with having to treat crap like this seriously, has raised the signature threshold from 25,000 to 100,000 for a response.

20 replies »

  1. With what little federal tax that they do pay, It would still be a hug source of state income.
    And what would they need a military for, to fend of an invasion from North Carolina. I doubt their neighbors would leave them high and dry. And they could do just like the feds borrow borrow borrow. It was a symbolic move to show the disgust in the current president.

  2. Just to be clear – the NC (where I live) signers of the secession petition amount to .03% of the state population. And all 50 states offered secession petitions. What I think this proves is that there are xenophobic, racist idiots in every state of this nation. While the White House might acknowledge these petitions, it doesn’t mean that it thinks that a minute group of idiots should be treated as if it is speaking for anyone but that minute group of idiots.

    • Jim, what you say is true for every state except Texas. There, some people pretty high up in the republican party voiced support for secession. It is an EXTREMELY troublesome trend – the idea that if I can not get everything I want all the time, then I will crap in the sandpile, take my ball and go home. And why is it that the republican party is the one that is constantly seeking to blow the government up (metaphorically speaking of course)? They tried to shut the government down, then wanted to destroy our credit, then secede from the union, and now they are talking about shutting the government down again. What gives?

      Back when bush was president and the pubs controlled congress, libs largely just said they’d move to Canada. They didn’t threaten to shut everything down every time the pubs did something (see the Senate and the record number of filibusters from the last session).

      • i hope the GOP does not raise the debt ceiling. Obama has alreay increased this to one half a trillon more then the last raise which was not that long ago. This spending has to stop and Obama is not about to stop. When that happens our debts still get paid, the government is just forced to close a lot of programs which is fine with me with all the fat we have out there. It worked when Gingrich did it and forced the prez to go back to the center. Obama has no intention of doing that, he is anti-american and anti everthing that makes this country great. He wants to make us like a third world country or should i say on the level of every other country which might as well be third world, This guy is out to destroy this country, one thing that is really telling is about the sequester on the military, and yes it was his idea. Too bad the people voted that radical back in. If they would have researched this man before he became president before he took office the first time he never would have been elected. he lies to the people all the time and worse then that he doesn’t give a shit about the American people. The man should be impeached and should have been impeached for all of his corruption, always signing executive orders to skirt Congress cuz he wants to be a dictator. He is no more interested in working with Congress then the man in the mood. He wants it his way or no way. He constantly violates the Constitition and is now doing it on guns. They are also targeting all of us Christians and that will come back to bite him in the ass. It is just unbelievable to me that so many of the American people just go along with this crap till it literally affects them, such as their recent paychecks and that is only the beginning. they have no idea what is to come but when it hits them they will. I have told my kids for years there will be a revolutlion or civil war in this country and it is close. Obama will be the reason and he thinks he knows it all, he doesn’t. He always misses the part how strong the American people are and how patriotic most of us are but he will find out in short order when all these crazy laws he has put in plus the horrible healthcare he prides himself on. Oh yes, he will definitely fear and know the anger of us patriots. He is a disgusting little man that is narcissitic, meglomaniac and psychopath.

        • Sandy, you make some really great points. I love when a person comes online to post a well thought out, articulate response with concrete examples to back up his/her claims. You seem to really know what’s going on in Obama’s head. I assume you must be a White House insider posting anonymously? Wufnik is going to have a hard time disputing your response.

        • @abaworlock, I’ve already started. How’s this? It’s “what’s,” not “whats.” Apparently this is called a contraction, for “what is.” It’s frequently used in English, as well as some other European languages. And what’s with all the exclamation points? One is usually sufficient. Thanks for stopping by,

        • Sandy, how much do you know about the Great Depression? Well, lucky for you, we lived through its first repetition in the 2000’s, (with some minor differences for flavor). So if we are repeating the Great Depression, perhaps we could examine the things we did to get out of it and do them now. That would make sense, right?

          Guess what? That’s exactly what we DID do. The stimulus, bailouts, unemployment, etc are, by and large, what we did in the early 1930’s. You know what else we did in the 1930’s? We had a political party that freaked out over how big our deficits had become and they scaled back on the spending. You know what that caused? It caused the depression to last until the 1940’s.

          Don’t take my word for it though – go to your local library and find a good history book (please choose one that is apolitical though). When you finish reading it you will be astounded at how closely we CONTINUE to mirror the 1930’s. You would think we would have learned something, wouldn’t you? But then again, I am constantly amazed at how many of the critics of Obama can’t even remember what happened during the W. Bush administration.

        • @abaworlock–well, if you had come back with something snarky about how I don’t know the difference between a period and a comma, we could have called it a draw.

        • Listen, Sandy, you Christians aren’t being persecuted until someone’s crucifying you or feeding you to the fucking lions, get it? Not being given complete control over how the rest of us choose to live our lives is not the same thing as persecution.

          Also, look into early American history. You’ll probably be surprised to find out that 18th Century Evangelical Christians in America were so far to the left of Obama it would make you cry.

        • Lex; Christians bashing and Obama not as bad as someone/something from a very long time ago, dose not make him good.

  3. I guess we’re all lucky that i’m not the President. “After careful consideration of secession petitions, I’ve come to the conclusion that [insert state name] is, in fact, not a good fit for inclusion in our Union. So to that end I have instructed my administration to begin the process of removing [insert state name] from the United States. All federal facilities will be closed in the next month; military facilities already have loyal troops securing stores which will be shipped back to the United States; military members from [insert state name] have been discharged and will returned to their home; federal taxes collected to date have been put in an escrow account for return when there is an established, national government of [insert state name]. I have mobilized troops to secure our border until such time as diplomatic relations with [insert state name] can be established and we determine that [insert state name] is not a threat to national security. Refugees may apply for fast-tracked US citizenship at border crossings for the next 30 days. After that, citizens of [insert state name] will be treated as any other foreign national entering the United States. My administration is examining trade relations and tariffs and will make a determination as soon as possible. Thank you, and good luck to [insert state name].”

  4. wuf

    did you pay sandy to drop by or did you do it yourself? i try to sound that stupid and just cant manage it. boy am i envious.

  5. Sandy is a national treasure. I have to wonder if she was just as upset when Bush was doing the same kinds of things Obama does with executive power? And who knows, maybe she was just as pissed off about Bush’s “borrow and spend” economic policies as she is about Obama’s.