Everybody seems to be so negative about campaign season. They hate the ads, they hate the mudslinging, they hate the lying, they hate the candidates.
Not me – I LOVE campaign season. Why? Because it’s an opportunity to learn stuff that not only didn’t I know before, but that I’d never learn any other way.
For instance, look at some of the Science lessons I’ve learned in the past few months:
- A woman can’t get pregnant from a rape.
- If she does somehow get pregnant from rape (which she can’t, but just in case), it’s because God has “blessed” her.
- Sometimes women get raped and pregnant because that’s how God wants it.
- Vaccinations cause mental retardation.
- Embryology is a lie from the pit of hell. (NOTE: this one and the first item must be true because they come from members of the House Science, Space and Technology Committee.)
- There’s no science behind evolution.
And what about History? I’d never have learned this one:
- Slavery was a blessing in disguise for black people. (Granted, in parts of the country students can learn that most slaveowners were kind and that many blacks preferred being slaves, but it’s nice to have this kind of high-level, official validation.)
Many schools have slipped in their responsibility to teach Civics, but our candidates for public office are doing what they can to plug the gap:
- Muslims are a problem and the only solution is to run them all out of the US. (One assumes this includes the president.)
- 47% of Americans are freeloaders.
How about Economics? God knows we need to learn how to be more fiscally responsible.
- You can’t decrease the deficit increasing revenues, but you CAN by cutting a program that accounts for 14/100th of a percent of the budget.
Then there’s Engineering:
And Behavioral Psychology:
And, of course, Political Science:
- You don’t have to share a border with a nation that has coasts on three large bodies of water in order to be their gateway to the sea.
We’ve got a couple weeks left and I’m carrying my notebook with me everywhere I go.I feel certain that I’m not through learning interesting and important lessons about our wonderful world.
I have tears in my eyes from laughing.