Colorado is a GREAT place to be a criminal

Thanks to the bungling of the Boulder PD, the Boulder prosecutor’s office and the local and national media we’ll never know who killed JonBenet. But that’s not what we’re talking about today. No, today’s item of business concerns the “sentence” handed down to Douglas Motherfucking Bruce.

Anti-tax crusader Douglas Bruce will have to report to Denver District Court Friday to begin an 180-day jail term followed by six years of strictly supervised economic probation.

Judge Ann Mansfield said today’s sentencing hearing that Bruce’s age, 62, the type of crime he committed and his lack of criminal history outweighed his unruly behavior at trial.

Bruce was convicted of “attempting to influence a public servant, filing a false return and tax evasion” back in December and faced a possible 12 years in the pokey and at least a half million dollars in fines. Which, given the magnitude of the man’s crimes against the citizens of the Centennial State, is pretty mild. Bruce is the … hey, wait a sec – “unruly behavior” what?

“It was apparent during the trial itself, the defendant had absolutely no regard for the rule of law. His behavior during the trial was reprehensible,” Mansfield said. “His behavior is used to gauge his likelihood of success on probation. It requires abiding by strict rules. I have serious reservations Bruce can be successful.”

So, if I have this right, he committed tax fraud, tried to corrupt a public official, acted like a braying jackass in court, the judge doesn’t think he has any chance of abiding by the terms of his probation and the result is…12 years reduced to six months? Maybe if he had taken a whiz on the bailiff he could gotten his sentence down to unsupervised visits to the Dairy Queen and a kiss from the judge.

Note to self: if you’re ever going to run afoul of the law, make sure to do it here in Colorado.

Oh, well. Bruce is a man with some well-established patterns. I look forward to seeing how the court reacts when he resumes his inevitable reign of public sociopathy upon release.

2 replies »

  1. I’ve always considered prison as a retirement center of last resort. Are the winters very cold there?