Sports

Denver Broncos make ironclad institutional commitment to sucking for 3-5 more years at least

Let me begin by observing that I have been wrong before. I will be wrong again, no doubt. And I may be wrong here. Hopefully I’m wrong here, and I want everybody to hang onto this so that when I’m proven wrong you can mock me mercilessly as we watch the Denver Broncos win one Super Bowl after another. I’m man enough to take it.

That said, I don’t think I’m wrong here.

Today’s introduction of new VP – Football Operations John Elway, a guy with no real football management experience outside of the Arena League, produced all the things that I know smart Doncs fans were hoping for:

  • The new GM will be Brian Xanders, reporting to Elway. The thinking here is that it was all probably McSkippy’s fault.
  • Joe Ellis, another guy whose name is synonymous with money in the bank, has been rewarded for his role in the team’s recent success by being promoted to President.
  • When things are unclear, Elway is going to hear everyone out and hope that consensus emerges. There’s a plan for you.
  • Whoever the new coach is, it’s going to be someone who is completely bought into the team’s franchise QB, Tim Tebow. The thinking here, one assumes, is that when you find yourself in a hole, dig like a motherfucker.

Yep. Former coach and savant Josh McDaniel painted the team into a corner by moving heaven and earth to draft a quarterback with a bigger windup than Daisuke Matsuzaka and the accuracy of a malfunctioning SCUD. And now, looking at an unsuited 2-7, the organization has decided to go all-in.

I can’t wait to see what kind of coach they can talk into taking the job. One thing’s for sure, we can forget all that talk about Cowher or Gruden. We’re now looking for a guy with no self-esteem whatsoever.

Categories: Sports

7 replies »

  1. Look at the bright side. At least your team’s owner was shrewd enough to realize that he was unqualified to be a GM, so he’s at least trying to bring some folks in to help him out. The Bengals owner still thinks he’s a great GM because his team ranks 10th in the number of players they’ve drafted who currently play for the team.

  2. Hey Sam, maybe the Browns and Broncos can gather all the unemployed NFL and college coaches in a neutral stadium, say St. Louis, and then toss a coin for the right to choose new management. Then we could pick coaching staffs like kickball teams.

    Or maybe Denver can hire Eric Mangini and then come back with him to kick our butts regularly, like the Pats under Belichick or the Ravens under anyone. . . .

  3. So, not sold on the Tebow? What’s wrong with you guys. You all need to get to church in a hurry. You can have Vince Young! No, really. Take him. Please.

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