The story so far: 
By Ann Ivins
Pushed out of his rightful place by invidious, freedom-hating and downright evil forces,* one man dares to take a stand. One man defends God, country and family values.** One man rises in near-holy defiance of those who would undermine the self-assurance, certainty of purpose and irrefutable moral superiority of these great United States of America.*** In the twilight of his ascendancy, one man resolutely refuses to back down, fulfilling the promise of more than a decade with the Texas State Board of Education in a final glorious swan dive into the history books as the man with the guts to rewrite history… the way it should have been.
This man. Don McLeroy.
But let’s not forget the eight**** brave soldiers of right who marched in lockstep with him through the TEKS like Sherman through Georgia like that mad general of an overweening federal government in the War of Northern Aggression through the peace-loving center of Southern industry and culture.
Now of course, the intellectual elite, liberal mainstream media and secular humanist Satan lovers are having a tough time grasping the necessity of protecting our precious children against too much of the wrong kind of information. Fortunately, Don and his freedom fighters understand that it is not enough to insist on equal time for opposing views of historical events, particularly from primary sources and actual participants.***** It is not enough to choose textbooks based on pedagogical soundness, inclusive and wide-ranging views, historical accuracy and usefulness in the classroom. The true mission of a God-fearing State Board is to protect young minds from troublesome, confusing thinking and refocus our educational system on the facts. The right facts. Carefully chosen and carefully presented. For the sake of the children.
So if any decent citizens of this great nation are reading this, perhaps they’ll take a moment with me to thank some of the dedicated members of the TSBoE for their specific contributions to the new Texas curriculum standards, starting with the ladies.
Ably defended the completely apolitical changes to the social studies TEKS, including replacing “democracy” with “constitutional republic” and comparing Abraham Lincoln to Jefferson Davis without dragging in the distraction of slavery – after all, Davis didn’t, and he was there (Ms. Cargill’s achievements are all the more impressive because her field of expertise is actually science education, where everyone has witnessed her dedication to the full inclusion of Intelligent Design).
And for all the whiners about institutionalized racism, Ms. Cargill’s sudden inspiration to include Julius (actually Jules) Bledsoe (an African-American performer, people) in the curriculum must have come as a sharp slap to their politically correct minds. As she so rightly exclaimed, “How could any of us forget his rendition of ‘Old Man River’ in Showboat?” Not only was his vocal style reassuringly non-black classical, he was a dedicated artist who stuck to what he knew best – singing, unlike, say, Paul Robeson or Harry Belafonte… and keeping your nose clean and your head down? Well, let’s just say there are many folks nowadays who could take a lesson here.
Keeps it real and sticks to her guns: Christian nation, Christian principles, public schools are unconstitutional and President Obama supports terrorism. What more could a true conservative want? Oh, and she has a book!
Showing an astounding tolerance for those on the far left who would misrepresent and slander the actions of the TSBoE, Ms. Lowe has explained over and over again to those lying liberals that nowhere in the TEKS are the words “Christian nation” used right next to each other, and that including Moses and Judeo-Christian principles and leaving out the secular Enlightenment as influences on our Founding Fathers does not indicate any kind of bias, and troublemakers like Steven Green obviously have a limited understanding of these issues, anyway. This lady is proof yet again that upholding the true principles of American education requires neither a background in education or law – just solid common sense and a can-do attitude.
She’s cute as a button and votes the right way. If she sometimes confuses a children’s book writer with a Marxist and gets an author (who also wrote a guide for the little ones to the Pledge of Allegiance) taken off library shelves… well, you know that Google search thing can be confusing, and she’s trying so hard. Heck, Ms. Know-It-All Pat Hardy fell for it, too, didn’t she? She’s the perfect little lady to defend baby Jesus, and bless her heart for hanging in there.
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* his own Republican constituents, who heartlessly declined to support him as a candidate for re-election
** for the ungodly, that’s “the Christian God, a conservative Christian-run country, and fundamentalist Christian families”
*** which is a constitutional republic founded on the principles of states’ rights and minimal federal government, praise God
**** no thanks to Pat Hardy, a Republican from North Texas who consistently allows her lifetime of real teaching experience to influence her thinking and occasionally her vote
***** why look for actual immigrant artists and writers to counter Negative Nellies like Sinclair and DuBois when we have a resource like Christian painter Thomas Kinkade and his beautiful book?
Next up: Don’s boys on the Board
Progressive Culture | Scholars & Rogues 
They say everything is bigger in Texas. Apparently this includes the stupid.
Present company excluded, of course.
How did I miss this? Nicely anatomized!
My favorite part: ““How could any of us forget [Jules Bledsoes’] rendition of ‘Old Man River’ in Showboat?”
Answer: Absolutely none of us could–if ever we had the great pleasure of seeing Bledsoe perform on Broadway in 1927 or in the 1929 film version, or somehow managed to stumble across the long out-of-print recorded version of the song. Those of us who are under 85 and not connoisseurs of obscure early musical theater recordings, however, are much more likely to remember either Paul Robeson’s 1936 film performance, William Warfield’s 1951 film performance, the recordings by either of those two, or any of the zillion other more widely available versions of “Ol’ Man River” by other people.
SOME of us, however, were apparently so desperate to pull a famous African American with no alarming lefty political associations out of our asses that we googled for the name of the one black person we recall doing anything memorable but apolitical, and failed to read the wikipedia entry closely enough to even suggest that we can in fact tell one black person from another, never even mind whether we have any vague awareness that African Americans have contributed to American history, society, or culture in areas other than the performance of songs written by white composers.
However, I personally think that young Americans in all states should be required to learn all about Paul Robeson, who is ACTUALLY an important historical figure for reasons that go well beyond his very excellent perfomance of “Ol’ Man River.” But then they’d have to get into that whole messy business about racism in theater and film history, the alliances between early 20th century civil rights activism and communism, pan-Africanism, McCarthy era blacklisting, etc. And hey, now I have an awesome new topic for my own social studies classes! Off to go work on lesson plans…