Features

Nota Bene #91: No Joke

Well I figured I’d give you all a break and spare you the wacky and profane puns and snark. I’m going to directly quote a single line or phrase from each of the links; the quote may have little or nothing to do with the subject. Enjoy! … “So I finally squeezed his bullocks a bit to get his recipe” … “Not a single white lawmaker is currently the subject of a full-scale ethics committee probe” … “He did not get word about his own funeral until it was already happening” … “He’s hardly the worst off” … “If the guy wants to fight he can be 4 ft. 2 and still fight a guy at 6 ft. 9” … “and whips, of course” … “I’ve had to spend all that time with an itchy face wearing a hat” … “He said that sooner or later the bosses are going to pay for this” … “It’s the greatest feeling in the world, making something your own come alive” … “the number of infections was dropping while penetrations by worms doubled” … “It’s definitely not your average lifestyle” … “The insurance companies are the problem, not the solution” … “the exact proportions of Lincoln’s head” … “rare proof of the sperm whale’s taste for giant squid” … “Is it true Def Leppard got you into golf?” … “I know what it means to feel ignored and forgotten and what it means to struggle” … “It was totally surreal” … “it is a bit of a shock to see them in the flesh, 30 years on” … “It was either mind-blowing or completely forgettable” … “no one was quite sure just how the paper actually got out” … “Thirty years back, Ivy Leaguers would never dream of entering the field” … “doing a lawnmower strip maybe isn’t the smartest thing we could do” … “You’re 42, now get the fuck out of the house!” … “we’re getting whiffs of the disaster it spells” … “Liquid mercury on the Moon?” … “Justice Clarence Thomas dissented” … “They might not be as physically tough or in shape but they sure are digitally savvy” … “I would have quit wrestling in a heartbeat to be a bass player for Metallica” … “We’re trying to come up with a reality show called ‘What’s Up, Holmes?'” … “That’s probably one of the reasons I don’t like New York!” … “Why is it that no one in today’s society will take responsibility for anything?” … “It was a surge of ideas” … “I quickly search in my inbox for a note” … “our madness is what rules the world” … “The impression I have of you is that you are simply a con artist” … “One by one they came forward, each with a piece of a dismembered flag to set within the flames” … “There is growing alarm within the Vatican and especially the Holy Father” … “walk carefully, because we’ll come after you” … “Obviously, it does not exist” … “it will be impossible to run a service like Flickr or YouTube or Blogger” … “I have not yet accomplished that one because I do not fully know what it means” … “we finally get to find out what might have happened if Satchel Paige had faced down Babe Ruth” … “viewers all across the great worldwide National Socialist Empire are going to be terrified by the upside-down world we’ve created” … “furry bottom feeders will be blown out of every crack and hole in sight and rain down like unsavory screeching meatballs” … “I have been crying for the past five months, but have, at last, come to terms with it” … “We’ve been writing songs and want to get back to ground zero and touch someone emotionally” … And finally, “Could former President Geor
ge W. Bush’s turn be next?” ∞

Categories: Features, Music/Popular Culture, Nota Bene

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