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Nota Bene #90: Monkey Business

“One reads such links, and what can one say but—‘Nota Bene!'” … Doc Brown is readying a Mr. Fusion marketing plan this very moment … The domain name possibilities are endless: youare., everyoneis., tomcruisedefinitelyis., icanprovethatlittlebastardpatrickmchenryis., et cetera … “One thing any discerning comic reader could tell is that I had almost no experience with comic strips” … Arnie to legislator: FU (literally) … It’s been thirty-five years since the legendary Rumble in the Jungle, and George Foreman is finally at peace with Muhammad Ali … Check your stuff, folks: that macabre plastic model human skull you have sitting on your mantle might not be plastic at all! … Holy crap—if they would pay me to come every day, with or without a partner, we’d have a deal … Oh, those hosers are just miffed because their teams haven’t won a Stanley Cup in years … Great Moments in the History of White Trash … I bet all the headbangers that have enlisted over the years feel cheated now … Here’s a piece right here for you all: “the” … Richard Hoagland will soon be claiming there’s a Skank Ass on Mars … A 55-year-old tragic mystery is finally solved … Maybe Life, Sex & Death were right—school’s for fools … School’s also for dope dealers … Happy Birthday, Global Porn Archive! … Rock quote: “It’s not so much ‘Do you still want it?’ as much as a question of ‘How much more are you willing to take?'” … It was not really a mistake, and I hope it (or something similar) happens again and again … The best, and probably only, Cris Collinsworth rip ever … I’m sure they all have our best interests at heart (stifled giggle) … Of whom did George H.W. Bush allegedly say, “All the blockheads and dummies are for him.” Was it: A) Bill Clinton, B) Ross Perot, C) George W. Bush, D) Ronald Reagan. Well? … An utter masterpiece gets even more masterpiecey … Imagine running 3.5 miles in 22 minutes—while wearing a gorilla suit … Hm, I thought for sure they were gonna catch him in mid-wank … Sad ending for a noted journalist … You know, I’ve been wondering the same damned thing for some time. Especially after I read things like this … Hey Joe Childs and Thomas C. Tobin, keep up the great work … There’s crazy, and then there’s seriously fucking crazy … And finally, no wonder Dave Lister lived to be 181. ∞

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