Nota Bene #87: Supersize Moi

There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on the latest issue of Nota Bene. Enjoy! … I always thought it was Gandalf anyway … Well, the girl can someday try to kick for CU … Bow to pinball messiah … Nine weirdest things ever at Yale. They left off George W. Bush … Bring on the cyborgs … Oceans are “the victims of a giant Ponzi scheme, waged with Madoff–like callousness by the world’s fisheries” … Yeah, good luck with that, Babs … Enjoy this sack of Pearljammy, Soundgardeny goodness … [Insert Uranus joke here] … Fear and loathing at the bottom of the world … Someone picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue … Rock quote: “I’m like an Internet whore” … EU to doubters: FU … Man, were the 70’s a fun time to be a kidVodkaput … Peter Criss: KISS member, breast cancer survivor … Don’t worry, Jesus will bring plenty of jobs with him when he soon returns … “Yeah, I’ll have a McRembrandt, a Diet Mona and of course French fries. And go large, Pierre” … Frances Bean has much to learn about irony … The South still has liberals? … Imus finds a safe haven … Like, I thought “like” would like win this. Whatever … A geek-rock classic marks 20 years, and a patron saint of rock geekness reflects … The mouse that roars (at developer whores) … Uh, were Medgar Evers alive, don’t you think he would object to this? … Rock quote: “I put two hexes on people and they both worked; it took almost 20 years to get rid of that Satanic depression” … Nat X was kind of prophetic—we may soon have the Saint Louis Niggers … “Chapter One. Last night I dreamt that I slapped Franz Liszt with a red snapper and then made sweet love to a Venus de Milo made of marzipan. I wonder what it means” … Christopher Columbus gets life in prison … Will we ever stop missing him? … So — now you have some idea of what Joe Brainard liked in bed … “When you have already died inside, there is nothing left to kill” … John Elway’s weirdest audible … Have tissues ready as you read this … You’ve got something in your pants … Brian Wilson promises one more stroke of genius … And finally, kneel before Zog. ∞

5 replies »

  1. It’s not every day you read a reference to Airplane in the Nota Bene! 😛

    That Westword piece on the USAP was interesting. I don’t blog about my employer for a number of reasons, but even I might have a hard time sticking to that if I was stuck at McMurdo over the winter.

    BTW, They Might Be Giants are still making music – they do stuff for Disney Channel but also kids CDs, and my kids love the stuff. We just bought another one about science, and TMBG are just as fun and quirky now as they were then.

  2. Someone won a long bet. You’re never too young to learn good sportsmanship. Everyone knows that the kicker’s the smartest woman on the team. Won’t they just end up getting drunk and fighting over it? Wouldn’t W. be included in the tape worm collection? In cyborg hell TV controls you. Tilapia is really grass carp. I believe that there won’t be much more than spare change left over. So this is what it’s like to get old…. There are medications for that. $66 is a lot for a bag of Doritos. I’ll now be regularly accusing people of attempting to outrage my modesty. Lars might have mixed up the word order in that sentence about himself and the internet. Secession now! Bombpop slides rule, and they always will. Deathporn always starts with the booze, but take away the booze and what kind of Russia would be left? Haha, Peter Criss is a churchie. But Larry Summers told me that he saved the world. It smells like fries in here. Hey, E. coli deserves to live too. Wait, i think i got posts confused, were we talking about ruminant gut microbes or celebrities? Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose. Older, wiser and even uglier. Whatever, “going forward” is the most annoying…especially since it’s most often said by people intent on moving backwards. You can’t argue with an accordion. And an accordion is the surest way to bed beautiful women. Wait until the jumping mice realize that they can pass for a Preble’s… What an honor: brutally murdered and still carrying shit for the man. Good thing he wasn’t making voodoo dolls. The more things change the more they stay the same (cept i don’t get an avatar). I hate things that have no purpose too, like listening to Rush. Jokes on you suckers, it’s nothing but vulgar doodles. More importantly, he had a map so he wouldn’t get lost. That greencard was totally photoshopped. If only every poem ended with “up the butt”. I’m not crass enough to be snarky on this one. Keep an eye on your neighbor, because he’s keeping an eye on you, or…i’ll race you to the Lubyanka. He’s much more valuable to his nation in fucking Iraq, huh? Well i know what song i’ll be humming tomorrow. Bigger in scope could mean pairing with the previously featured filmmaker, now that would be something. With a name like Zog, you’re bound to be a distinguished personality.

    Every. Last. One. Bitches.
    Thanks, Mike.