Summer is gone. Good riddance, I say—bring on the pigskin. And here, have a keg of NotaBenevolent goodness. Enjoy! … Rudy Garcia concludes his quasi-vision quest … Dejected CU fans: this’ll bring back some fond memories … Omnipotent Poobah misses Archie Bunker … Rock quote: “I know everyone will suggest that fucking a pig is how this [swine flu] was obtained. However, my past choices in women have in no way contributed to me acquiring this mysterious sickness” … These are my people; believe me, they can talk … How does a delivery driver who’s a foreign naional with no US assets against which to secure a loan score $50,000 in unsecured credit lines? … Progressive metal gods Fates Warning are working on new material … Some jurists are inspired by the wisdom of Solomon, the resolve of Marshall, or the courage of Brandeis; this judge looks to Joe Pesci and Herman Munster … Katey Sagal lives out an old dream … Billions and billions of rehearsals … He’s back, but then he never really left … Oink, eh … Sen. Al Franken is already pissing people off, which is a good thing … President Obama, British PM Brown and I have something in common … What 6′ pasty and globulous bottomfeeder does not host a nationally syndicated right-wing radio show? … Rock quote: “[A]s long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a marine biologist” … Two legendary heavyweight champions will meet in the ring once more … Andalusian Gothic … A life examined in laborious detail … At least somebody found a good use for those annoying little ones that always get lost under the couch and vacuumed up … “He’s going to get the welcome back that a lot of us didn’t get” … Who on Earth could possibly scare Matt Taibbi into peeing his pants? … Hey, if they can handle the smell … Rock quote: “I do still drink a lot. About a bottle of Jack [Daniel’s] a day” … How far we’ve come: Elie Mystal says black politicians no longer have to stick together … But apparently being a fancy-dressing, preciously-coiffed loon is just dandy … Gary Numan and Trent Reznor: a match made in Dystopia … It’s not 2009 everywhere in America—take Washington, D.C. for example … Don’t worry, Geithner and Summers will learn ’em … Ceci n’est pas une heist … Creepy as fuck collection of haunted doll videos … Perhaps someone will want to kill Robert Crumb … All of you should go read this; most of you won’t make it back alive … Rock quote: “[E]very time I went into a public bathroom and smelled those little urinal cakes—oooh, remember when everything gave you a hard-on?” … Carl Sagan croons from beyond the grave … And finally, an “obscure” little brewery in my obscure little town makes some of the best brews in the country—just ask the Great American Beer Festival. ∞