Arts/Literature

God's slam poet

So the Rev. Joseph Lowery is among the many fine individuals newly awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom for 2009.

The good reverend has had a long and storied career, with a recent highlight being his poetic excoriation of the Bush administration with President George W. Bush himself sitting behind Lowery as he spoke at Coretta Scott King’s memorial service in 2006.

What will the loquacious Lowery say at his Freedom Medal acceptance speech?

I can imagine it’ll go something like this:

Thank you all for coming today / to hear what this old bird’s got to say…

What a thrill it is to receive this honor / along with Bishop Tutu, Ted Kennedy and Sandra Day O’Connor…

Harvey Milk, Sidney Poitier and many other notables / but first let me talk a little bit about potables…

It’s two thousand and nine but you coulda fooled me / ‘Cause discrimination remains, like in Cambridge, you see…

Where a black man, a professor, an honorable soul / gets profiled, another brother in a never-ending toll…

Cuffed in his house by a white cop he was / for raising his voice, no real probable cause…

Obama was mad but made nice, so I hear / and invited them both to the White House for beer…

The distinguished professor preferred a Red Stripe / while the chief exec wanted Bud Light (that’s allright!)…

When it came to the cop, whose power he flaunted / I took a step back when I heard what he wanted…

Bad enough Gates was nabbed by this goon / but making it worse, his choice was BLUE MOON!

For Coors, millions more / thanks to this boor PR whore…

With so many choices, tasty and fine / he coulda drank oatmeal stout, ale, barleywine…

He coulda had a Rogue or a Stone IPA / Dogfish Head, Red Hook or a Guinness, I say…

Colorado gems from Left Hand or Dry Dock / maybe something from Europe like a top Doppelbock

Man, he coulda picked Pabst or, more aptly, Pig’s Eye / and how come he ain’t given Sam Adams a try?

Made right in his neighborhood, in Boston no less / but it sounds like he don’t get around, I guess…

Instead he drank something like lemony pee / that my aunties wouldn’t touch, it might just be me…

But it’s all good in the end, I don’t want to insult / especially in times that are so difficult…

Economy’s weak, jobs flushed down the can / still got our soldiers out in Afghanistan…

Education a shambles, environment’s trash / bankers keep taking what’s left of the cash…

Corruption gets deeper, health care a mess / and the poor have to live with somehow even less…

The birthers, the racists, the haters, Fox News / all giving Obama the Oval Office blues…

But one thing’s for sho’, they can’t take away / no matter how they lie, how they rant every day…

How much they deny, how hard they attack / the plain truth is the ole White House is Black.

Crossposted from JAZZ from HELL

10 replies »

  1. No, no, no. It is not okay that the chief exec had Bud Light. That stuff’s okay if it’s kept out of sight, but for the President in public…well, it just isn’t right.

    I’ll have a Bell’s Two Hearted Ale for the performance, thank you.

  2. Bud Light is still way better than Blue Moon. Blue Moon gives Meister Brau and Milwaukee’s Best a serious run for their money as worst beer on Earth. I question the sanity of people who like drinking it.

    • I can’t say that exactly like drinking it, but Blue Moon is way better than any of the Bud beers. I’ll drink water before Bud, but if I’m really hard up for a beer, I will drink a Blue Moon.

      Worst beer on earth? Bud’s in the running to be sure, but for my money, I’ll put Iron City and Keystone up against Milwaukee’s Best and Meister Brau.

      Hey, I know! How about a Tournament of Beers – worst beer on Earth? he he he

      I’ll take a Stone Imperial Stout or Smoked Porter, thanks.

  3. I’m not defending the cop’s choice and certainly not his lame ass attempt to look hip and enlightened. I would have expected the Prez to choose the Blue Moon and would have assumed the cop to drink Bud Light.

    The man talks about arugula…and then chooses a Bud Light. Unacceptable. I could understand, and even applaud, him choosing Old Style. Even more applause if he got plastered on it; made a ruckus; and did something he would long regret. But i cannot forgive Mr. $400M to Prove how Cool I Am drinking the Bud Light.

    It’s not like i’m expecting him to request a proper, hand-pulled pint at cellar temperature from an obscure regional brewery in England. He couldn’t even man up enough to drink a Bud.

  4. “Hey, I know! How about a Tournament of Beers – worst beer on Earth? he he he”

    That is a brilliant idea… I’d like a tourney of best and worst, I reckon we’d have some seriously enjoyable and esoteric flamewars on our hands, heh.

  5. “The man talks about arugula…and then chooses a Bud Light. Unacceptable”

    Now, now, he has to do that to help ensure reelection. Wait till his second term… he’s gonna go nuts, and (mostly, I hope) in a good way.

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