The empire strikes back

It is a dark time for the rebellion.  Although the Bush administration has been defeated, imperial troops have co-opted groups like MoveOn and vast swaths of the Democratic Party in their continued pursuit of global dominance.

Evading the Imperial Department of State, a group of freedom fighters without a leader has withdrawn to the remote corners of the blogosphere.

The evil lord Barack Obama, obsessed with imperial glory, is dispatching thousands of new storm troopers and imperial governors into the far reaches of South Asia…

Nope, that’s not a moon…it’s another US embassy project.

“If you’re going to have people live in a car bomb-prone place, your are driven to not have a light footprint,” said Ronald Neumann, a former U.S. ambassador to Afghanistan and the president of the American Academy of Diplomacy. Neumann called the planned expansions “generally pretty justified.”

I believe that the term is “cognitive dissonance”, Ambassador Neumann.  It might well be a “car bomb-prone place” because of the already heavy footprint.  But i’m sure that those pesky rebels will get the picture once they witness the awesome power of the fully armed and operational battle stations.

“For the strong commitment the Empire U.S. is making in the country of Pakistan, we need the necessary battle stations platform to fulfill our diplomatic mission,” said Jonathan Blyth of the State Department’s Overseas Buildings Operations bureau.

In theory, the new AfPak strategy calls for a civilian-military funding ration of 80-20, hence the reasoning for the new embassy and consulate archipelago in South Asia.  There must be infrastructure toaccomodate the “civilian surge” that Lord Obama and Imperial Secretary Clinton have promised.

In reality, the 2009 supplemental funding bill that’s paying for all these new battle stations outposts maintains the 90-10 military-civilian ratio that existed before all the name changing towards a kinder, gentler empire.  Rep. LynnWoolsey pressed Ambassador Holbrooke on the issue and got the usual prevarications dished out to placate the last vestiges of the Republic.

A senior congressional staffer said, “The bottom line is that [the bill] is the same funding, for the same military efforts, it’s just coming from a State Department account instead ofDoD.”

And so it goes.  Or as Lord Biden used to say, “That’s not change, that’s more of the same.”

It might be pointed out to Lord Obama that more systems will slip through his fingers when he tightens his grip.  But esoteric allusions to Eastern philosophy are unlikely to affect him or his clone troops.  They would surely find such a lack of faith disturbing.

The empire is dead, long live the empire.

3 replies »

  1. What we need to do is get over our shame about being an empire. (That was pretty funny.)

  2. You know, Russ, i’d be ok with that. I still wouldn’t like it, but if the goal is to control the planet then let’s just say that’s what we’re aiming for and apply ourselves to the task.

    Besides, it’s not like we’re fooling anyone except a portion of our own population.