The Karma wagon rolls around for Manny: respect the game, Tittie-Boy

Oh, the sheer deliciousness of it all. Manny Ramirez has been busted for using.

The word is that ManRam didn’t actually use steroids.

However, two sources told ESPN’s T.J. Quinn and Mark Fainaru-Wada that the drug used by Ramirez is HCG — human chorionic gonadotropin. HCG is a women’s fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body’s natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle. It is similar to Clomid, the drug Bonds, Giambi and others used as clients of BALCO.

This may be even sweeter, for a couple of reasons. First, this line: “…typically used by steroid users to restart their body’s natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle.” Outing Manny for roid use would have been great, but the next best thing is the lingering shadow of suspicion that’s bound to follow him around for the rest of his career (and, with luck, well into the latter years of his Hall of Fame eligibility).

Second, there’s this: “HCG is a women’s fertility drug…” Ohhh, my. Too. Many. Jokes. Let’s see, how about the Top Ten Things Heard Around Dodger Stadium:

10: Manny’s looking to lead the league in hits, homers, RBIs and C-sections?
9: So, who wants me to rub some “pine tar” on their “bat”?
8: Wonder if his man-boobs will interfere with that gorgeous swing?
7: So he wasn’t intentionally being bitchy last season in Boston. It was just his time of the month.
6: Now batting, left fielder Rosie O’Donnell.
5: Mr. Ramirez, time for your bikini wax appointment.
4: I don’t care what his batting average is, I am not washing his bra.
3: “Daddy, why is that man’s shirt all wet in the front?” “He’s lactating, son.”
2: It’s not the Octo-Mom’s fault – she was just trying to be like Manny.
1: I hear the Dodgers had to add “no breast feeding the ball boys” to their sexual harrassment policy.

For those who haven’t followed the story and who don’t understand my glee here, ManBoobs last year redefined the term “clubhouse cancer.” He had always been something of a character, and everybody who follows the game probably got used to hearing the phrase “that’s just Manny being Manny” at least once a week.” But in 2008 “Manny being Manny” turned into “Manny being one of the worst punks in baseball history.” He was mad about his contract situation and made himself such an insufferable festering boil on the ass that the Red Sox had no choice but to trade him. What was worst of all, though, wasn’t his behavior in the locker room, it was his on-field antics. We’ll be kind and say that he didn’t put forth the best effort that expect of a highly-paid professional and leave it at that.

That was bad enough. Now add in that I’m a Red Sox fan and it should start making some sense.

So, Manny. It’s a bitch when Karma comes a-calling. You’re not the first prima donna who wasn’t happy with his contract situation. Although I believe you probably are the first one to pitch a galloping hissy fit over a $17M a year contract (or whatever the goddamned Monopoly money number was). Fine. Deal with those issues like a man, you ungrateful, gutless, out-of-touch multimillionaire motherfucker. Across the country (and around the entire world) people are playing the game with respect and reverence, and almost all of them are doing it for nothing except the joy of the sport.

Respect the game, Tittie-Boy. Bad things happen to those who don’t.

Walt Whitman once said, “I see great things in baseball. It’s our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us.” You could look it up. – Annie Savoy

15 replies »

  1. Tittie -boy.

    You had me at Tittie boy…..I had to read on….and I’m glad I did.

    I’ve also heard that tittie-boys manboobs swell up while the family jewels shrivel up, is there any truth to that? Just wondering?

  2. And wear your uniform like it’s supposed to be worn…keep the damned pajama look for home, the club, wherever except the ball field.

  3. I don’t just think this is Karma for ManRoid, I think it’s sweet sweet karma for the Red Sox fans. The same sore winners who bitch and bitch about other teams (mainly the Yanks) players doing roids. Turns out the “bunch of idiots” were juiced. I was actually glad they won in 04, because I figured that I wouldn’t have to hear these fans whine about things not being fair, well turns out they cheated too. I tried reaching out to some of my Red Sox fans, needless to say it’s been awful quiet. I haven’t exactly been happy with my $2,400 a seat Yanks, but what really irks me is how Red Sox Nation, er, Red Sox Bandwagon will cry foul about everyone else but never look in the mirror. How many times can the Red Sox play the “Little Guy” card?

    They need to test Papi now, but that wont happen until he’s off the team. Too many insiders working for the Sox in the MLB front office.

    It’s too bad, I was kinda rooting for LA this year, but I’ll take this little nugget of negativity that will loom over those 2 Red Sox teams forever.

  4. I wonder if he can appeal this 50 game suspension. I was hoping to see him in the lineup on Saturday versus the Giants not so much for his skills but to see what the appeal about him is. I am a fan of the Dodgers of old: Ron Cey, Steve Garvey, Mike Scioscia. I think it’s a slap to the face of older players who never juiced up when current players juice up and break those homerun records that stood for years.

    Getting back to the roid use. So they didn’t find roids but instead found HCG huh? Anyone with a lick of sense (based on the story) can deduce that if you’re using HCG you obviously used roids. Why do people turn a blind eye to this? Confess you juiced you dreadlock wearing MOMO. Are his stats that spectacular? Why would LA pay so much for a 38 year old left-fielder? Hell, a nutless monkey could play leftfield position. I think the monkey would need a pinch hitter though.

    Can I get my money back for the tix since Mannywood won’t be playing?

  5. Darrell: It’s hard to say who on that Sox team may have been juicing. Although as much as I love my Sox, I fucking HATE Schilling, and I’d giggle myself fuzzy if I found out he was juicing. I’d like to think that they were all clean, but would I bet on it? Not even with your money.

    At this point, it seems like a good 90% of the best players over the last decade were pharma-enhanced.

  6. Sam: I’m going to say there’s a 99.99% chance Papi is/was juiced, it’s so obvious. Putting aside the fact that Schilling is one of the most annoying people in sports, I think he juiced.

    • If Curt, the holier-than-thouest of all pitchers, was juicing, can we PLEASE find a way to prove it?

      Papi: I hope not, but I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised.

  7. ‘Roid Rage

    In retrospect, the incident where Manny pushed down that aging Red Sox employee might have been a clue to his steroid use.

  8. Darrell, nobody is more obnoxious than Yankees fans, or worse frontrunners. I admit we have our share of douchebags in “The Nation”, but at least Yankees fans are always safe in our ballpark. The same cannot be said of Yankee stadium, at least not the old one. Your assertion or implication that Ortiz is not being tested because of “insiders” influencing the league is plainly laughable. He is being tested using the same criteria and scheduling as every other player, period. Your sour grapes are showing. How is that 2000 World series trophy treating you? It is that last one you guys are going to get for a very long time, no matter how many billions you spend. Your management is the pits. Speaking of ‘roids, how is Texiera working out for you? Seems like he has lost some of his power. Wonder why that could be? Too bad, more Yankee money down the tubes. I do not doubt that some Red Sox players were using. It is like Sam said. Almost all of the top tier players seem to have been on the stuff. Jose’ was right, but for a Yankee fan to pretend to get up on a high horse and point fingers is absolute hypocrisy and a total joke.

  9. Howie: You obviously don’t get it. There’s nothing more annoying then explaining sarcasm. Maybe it’s becasue you don’t know me, or maybe you are that ignorant. My whole point was to “pretend to be outraged” just like Red Sox “fans” did/do. To me the Red Sox are no more better or worse than the Yanks. They’re “fans” like to portray their team as the “little guy who just can’t get ahead in this Yankee run world”. It’s like the guy who shops at Target and bitches about Wal*Mart.

    “but at least Yankees fans are always safe in our ballpark”
    Really? Are you sure you don’t want to take that one back. I know many people (some personally) who would dispute this. In fact it’s pretty much common knowledge that you may want to watch you back when going to a Yankees v Red Sox game. I’m not saying that Yanks fans aren’t idiots either, but I can say without any doubt that Boston fans of any sport are the most ignorant and obnoxious.

    The main issue is that Red Sox fans have an inferiority complex, they don’t know what to do with them selves now that they are better than the Yanks on a regular basis.

    I’m sure Ortiz is clean now, just look at his numbers since people have been getting outed.

    Also look at who some of the key people who worked on the Mitchell Report were. It’s a awful coincidence that not 1 Red Sox player was named.

    By the way I rooted for the Sox in 04. I wanted to witness the grand event that everyone was waiting for. I actually thought that once they won it, Red Sox “fans” could be part of the club, but that didn’t happen. What happened was they bitched even more.

    I guess now that we know for a fact that one of the major contributors to the championship teams was in fact juiced. The Red Sox are part of the club. I just don’t know how you sensitive Red Sox “fans” will handle the criticism. I’m sure as usual the Red Sox “fans” will find a way to blame the Yankees. I guess that’s what’s expected in The Yankees Universe.

    • …I can say without any doubt that Boston fans of any sport are the most ignorant and obnoxious.

      Now, now. All you prove with that kind of talk is that you’ve never been to a U of Colorado football game (ignorant) or to the city of Philadelphia for ANY sporting event (obnoxious).

  10. You have never witnessed a Bills v Pats game. Even when the Pats are kicking out ass they still can’t handle a little “Red Sox Suck” chant without getting worked up. The most fights I’ve seen in the past few years is very easily from Pats fans. The Bruins just got good the last 2 years, so I’m sure I’ll see more float in, but back in the day there were fights on a regular basis with their fans. Even when I go up to Toronto to see the Yanks v Jays there’s always some D-bag Sox “fan” who’s sole purpose is to root against the Yankees. I remember asking one guy with a Sox hat on who their 2nd baseman was, he couldn’t’ answer.

  11. As a neutral observer i have to second Darrell. Red Sox Nation has actually made me look fondly on Yankees fans.

    And i had similar feelings around the Sox WS. Much of the obnoxiousness seemed understandable what with the curse and the living in the shadow of the Yanks…and then it got worse.

    (My feelings aren’t just sour grapes either. I understand what it’s like to be a Yankees fan to some degree; a Wings fan is in a similar situation in the hockey world.)

    And good point, Russ.

  12. now that Manny has half the season off he’ll have to go home to his private island and wallow while he sips iced tea and works on his tan, poor guy