Funny

Proof that Socialists have infiltrated Congress: "I have in my hand a list…"

Rep. Spencer Bachus (R-AL) likes the fact that Barack Obama is a better listener than Dubya, but says

“Some of the men and women I work with in Congress are socialists.”

Asked to clarify his comments after the breakfast speech at the Trussville Civic Center, Bachus said 17 members of the U.S. House are socialists.

Not 16, not 18. 17.

Which raises a number of questions and concerns.

1: It’s a certainty than Bachus doesn’t know what the word “socialist” means. I say this for a couple of reasons. First, I do know what it means, and if there are 17 of them on the Hill I’ll personally polish Bachus’s entire collection of Dukes of Hazzard memorabilia with my satiny-smooth nutsack. Second, Bachus holds degrees from both Auburn and Alabama, schools that are most assuredly not known for the heated rivalry between their debate teams. What he probably means by “socialist,” a word that dumb politicians have used a great deal in recent months when addressing even dumber audiences, is “someone who is politically to the left of Newt Gingrich.

2: However, even once we understand that Bachus is merely doing what politicians of a certain stripe do – that is, using highly charged but little understood terms as a cynical tool for whipping the hillbillies into a lather – it’s not clear that the tactic will be as successful as it once might have been. Why, you ask? Because in a recent poll only 53% felt that capitalism was better than socialism. Sweet fancy tap-dancing Lenin – what has Amerika come to?

3: It’s a certainty that the people polled don’t know what the word “socialist” means. Many probably think it means “not George Bush,” although if that were uniformly the cash the pro-socialist numbers should be higher. So there must be other factors at work. This is where I remind you that the US “educational” system is barely capable of teaching people how to use string. Helping the average student (whose eyes begin glazing over when a message exceeds 160 characters, counting spaces) understand the subtle differences between capitalism, socialism, communism, libertarianism, Zoroastrianism, Mercerism, and pulmonary embolism is like trying to teach meditation to a gerbil on angel dust.

It’s easy to see why Bachus would want to emulate the late, great Sen. Joe McCarthy – after all, the guy was an American hero. But Rep. Bachus is no Joe McCarthy.

On the other hand, no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people. Although we do keep trying….

8 replies »

  1. The buzzword control tactics used by corporate media to control our minds and lives pisses me off. I was listening to a podcast of The Joan Kenley Show called The Media: What’s True, What’s Not just now that addressed the ways the flailing, frightened right-wing newsmedia are creating false realities that actually do convince a number of Americans (including some of us). I guess throwing the word “socialism” around as if there is no difference between a communist country and one that favors social programs is their best attempt at re-training our political definitions in their favor. To me, it’s just ridiculous.

  2. . . . in a recent poll only 53% felt that capitalism was better than socialism. Sweet fancy tap-dancing Lenin – what has Amerika come to?

    I still can’t wrap my brain around the results of that poll. Either Americans don’t know that socialism is part of communism or, in the few years since communism’s fall in Russia, they’ve already forgotten that it used to be our supposed nemesis.

  3. “Why, Mr. Bonesparkle, I do declare that my prized General Lee has never shined so brightly. What is your secret?”

  4. Look, fellas, Communism and Socialism are not synonymous. For YEARS no we have had socialized programs in this country that have helped many people and made life better for all of us. An ideal society has aspects of both capitalism and socialism. Many countries in Europe that smoke us in many departments are in a large part socialist.
    Communist dictatorships are something entirely different.

  5. Russ, you’re a total fool. What sort of a threat does Russia look like TODAY?! Given that their communist system FELL APART UNDER ITS OWN INEFFECIENCY AND WEIGHT, and that RUSSIA IS NOW CAPITALIST, I would think that the deadly threat of communism is dead and buried. The only remaining communist power is China, who also happens to be one of our largest capitalist trading partners.

    COMMUNISM IS NOT AND HAS NEVER BEEN A THREAT TO THE SAFETY OF THE AMERICAN STATE OR ITS CITIZENS.

    Please read the pages below, and you’ll see that communism is not the same socialism.Socialism is mid-way between pure capitalism and pure socialism. It’s the middle way that the majority of the industrialized world has adopted as the most effective means to a safe, productive, vibrant society.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communism
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialism

    Please stop spreading your utter foolishness as God’s honest truth. You do no one a service to spout this bullshit, and you only impede the progress of our nation and people.

  6. Either Sean doesn’t get out much, or he missed Putin’s extortion of the EU over natural gas supplies. Otherwise, he would not be asking what kind of a threat Russia now is. He’d know.

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