American Culture

"No one with a penis is entitled to an opinion about abortion."

Inspired by Dr. Slammy’s insightful and illuminating piece, Is America ready for an honest conversation about abortion yet?

My wife’s wise words notwithstanding, they’re representative of those who view abortion as a women’s rights issue. But to pro-lifers, that concern is dwarfed by one much larger: preventing murder. Furthermore, to them, a woman’s right to control her own body not only palls before the need to save a life, but is indicative of the me-first syndrome that threatens to rend the fabric of society as sure as abortion does.

As an unambiguous proponent of abortion, I feel that I can afford to give pro-lifers the benefit of the doubt. Let’s assume that they actually are more interested in saving lives than keeping women in their place. Also, out of respect to pro-lifers, let’s drag out that old war-horse of a question –- is abortion murder? — and flog it again.

My personal spiritual exploration has led me to conclude that life may begin at conception, but strictly as a seed. Pro-lifers need to give their deity more credit: Would a just God insert a soul into an undeveloped body and brain?

What do pro-lifers think a soul would be doing in a fetus that size during the first two trimesters? Twiddling its thumbs? Maybe, if they were more developed. Life in a fetus is the equivalent of a coma.

Second, pro-choicers, however, need to cede that there really is a “cide” side to abortion, as in infanticide. A hint of abandoning the newborn on the steppes. However, the extinguishment quotient is less than in euthanizing a pet.

Running from it only encourages that tiny seed of denied guilt over abortion to grow like the aborted fetus doesn’t. Of course, making the case to pro-lifers that “It’s just like putting a sick dog to sleep” will only add insult to injury. But it’s of immense benefit to those pro-choicers who like to think that the issue of human life is entirely extraneous to abortion.

The Real Reason It’s Called a Mothership

Meanwhile, aboard a mothership on the edge of our solar system, an alien version of an ob-gyn wields a long pipette. To an attending doctor, he transmits: “Aren’t earthling abortion quarrels quaint? The energy earthlings squander over them would be better spent saving their ecosphere from the same kind of certain destruction that ours suffered.

“Otherwise, within a generation, the whole abortion argument will be moot. Earth’s spoiled environment will ravage their females’ ovaries and render them sterile, just as happened with ours.”

Bending to his task, he asks, “Is the earth woman sufficiently distended?”

When his assistant nods, he inserts the alien sperm.

Once the doctor removes the pipette and straightens, his assistant turns to him.

“Wait a minute. Then who’s going to supply us with eggs and carry our fetuses to full term?”

8 replies »

  1. Great googly-moogly.

    As i stated previously, i don’t really go for the life/value argument…but that’s just me.

    Legally – or how we should settle the debate – i think we need to decide on a point in fetal development that counts as personhood. Conception being that date is just silly. Is a miscarriage abortion/murder? If it’s God’s will, then the decision to abort can be argued (albeit difficultly) as God’s will too. Isn’t everything God’s will?

    I believe that the rule of thumb applied when America was so new and all revolved around noticeable fetal movement. That sounds about right to me. Before that time the mother’s right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness takes precedence; after that time the child’s right takes precedence. It shouldn’t take 5 months to realize that one is pregnant and decide what to do about it.

    But maybe we should just let the women decide this one…

  2. Before we can begin an honest national conversation on abortion, we need to have an honest conversation on being human.

    How about that my humanity is bound up in yours? That we value educating, feeding, and housing all the members of society… that we have a society with opportunity for everyone that wants the chance to make something of themselves.

    If we honor ourselves enough to recognize that we are sexual beings with reproductive needs – then maybe we could address those needs in a straightforward manner. Our collective behavior says abstinence doesn’t work, but contraception does. How about educating the population on their proper use – then make them affordable. I suspect the abortion rates would drop. Fighting over abortion seems like arguing with the back end of the animal. Our energies are better served up front.

    Provide a better solution than unwanted pregnancy.

  3. I absolutely agree (I am of the kind with a penis and have two kids thanks to my wife:) Kids are serious responsibility and it’s mostly mother’s. So it’s up to her to decide. We, men, can help as much as we can, or as much as we are allowed to in this miraculous process but its the mother that does the miracle: bringing new life to this world. And its up to her to decide. Pro-life men are misguided idiots. You can’t tell another adult person what to do with her body what’s more try to force them to do something you think is right. Your body is your sovereign domain..

  4. As an unambiguous proponent of abortion, I feel that I can afford to give pro-lifers the benefit of the doubt. Let’s assume that they actually are more interested in saving lives than keeping women in their place.
    This is a very generous assumption. If pro-lifers really equated abortion to murder, they wouldn’t hesitate to pronounce that women should bear the full weight of the law for deciding to murder their fetuses. But many of them do hesitate. And it’s that hesitation that signifies intellectual dishonesty. Secondly, what next? Manslaughter/murder investigations in miscarriage situations? How about forced pregnancy tests just in case? The “abortion is murder” argument is complete BS, and anyone who’s concerned enough about children to really want to solve some of these problems knows that.

    And I agree with Dawn.

  5. nice post….but you lost me in the spaceship piece…..maybe I need my first cup of coffee and I’ll read it again.

  6. The idea that abortion is about the “sanctity of life” kinda falls flat when the very people screaming that abortion is murder are bang alongside the idea of state sanctioned killing, be it random wars, police shootings, or the death penalty.
    It’s about keeping women in their place, nothing more.
    The men are typically authoritarian “Women should do as they’re told.” types.
    Though the most vicious anti-abortion folks I’ve ever met were the women that’ve had an abortion and later discovered religion.
    Of course when you ask if they confessed to murder and demanded to be prosecuted for it they give you a blank look. After all, Jesus forgives them. Not anyone else, though!

  7. What Dawn said… and I love it when La Wellen goes old school on the patriarchy. Maybe she could elaborate in a guest post? Hint?

  8. I disagree with the original sentiment. I think fathers’ rights get trampled by current abortion laws. The thinking behind them comes from the same frame of mind that, for decades, strongly favors mothers with child custody in divorce cases.

    It takes two to tango, and while the mom has to carry the child to term, the child is still half dad, and dad should get a say. That many fathers abdicate this responsibility is unfortunate. (That many fathers abdicate any and all parental responsibilities is shameful, period.)