Funny

There is a God. And he just broke Ann Coulter's face.

As one of my colleagues might put it: sweet fancy mouth-breathing Jesus!

Ann Coulter’s Jaw Wired Shut
By Brandon Barker
Nov 25th 2008 11:40AM

For the next few weeks, fans of Ann Coulter–anyone?–will have to rely on Lindsay Lohan to provide insensitive, backward-thinking sound bites.

Because of a nasty fall last month, says the New York Post’s Page Six, the 46-year-old will have her jaw wired shut.

I’m thinking of changing my middle name to “Schadenfreude.”

23 replies »

  1. Brilliant incite Ann Ivins. Combine a total absence of facts with a plethora of incite into Ann Coulter’s MO and you nailed it. You reached the limit of theoretical certitude. No broken jaw from a fall rather botched plastic surgery. As Thomas Hardy demonstrated, “Character is fate.”

  2. Thank you, Joey. I try. By the way, it’s “insight” – “incite” means to spur someone to action… Example: People who take things way, waaaayyyy too seriously are so easy to incite to anger.

    Anything else I can do for you, let me know.

  3. @Ann Ivins
    I’ll take that botched plastic surgery bet.
    My money is on her performing an indescribable and vile sex act and she slipped in the lube, leaving most of the people present sliding around on the floor trying to escape before the ambulance got there.
    Fortunately, goats are pretty surefooted, so the people got all those out of the room before it brought even more trouble.
    They probably had to explain away an awful lot, even without the goats.

    If breaking her jaw proves there is a god, then should she ever read this, her screams of outrage that someone suggested she’d do something like this would be the music of the heavens.

  4. I can’t speak for anybody else, but this is a woman who has devoted her life to fostering ignorance and hate. If there’s a more spiteful, venomous cur on the face of the earth I haven’t run across him or her yet.

    There are bad people in the world, people who will make the world better by departing. Ann Coulter is very high on the list.

  5. One could then say that the entire cast of the Daily Koz would fit into the category of spewing ignorance and hate. The Koz can only be described as obscene. However, there is still a first amendment, and as adults we should be more mature than wishing ill will and personal injury on political pundits, or any public figure for that matter in this country. For instance, I am not happy with the election of Obama, but wish him well, as he will be my president. I hope he runs things well and does a good job as a president. I don’t wish him to do badly,like the left did regarding anything Bush.

    Interesting note….I’m surprised how the left hasn’t jumped all over Obama for bowing to Wall Street with his picks. He’s surprised me with the centrist positions he has taken regarding things financial. I note the brilliance of his “Lowering the expectations of what he can accomplish” campaign. He’s a better politician than Clinton ever was.

    Jeff

    Jeff

  6. One could then say that the entire cast of the Daily Koz would fit into the category of spewing ignorance and hate.

    No, one couldn’t say that. Not if one had any interest at all in factual accuracy. Could one say that about some people there? Absolutely. If you’re looking for people who lack perspective, that’s not a bad place to start. But all? No, that just proves that you only read the freak wing.

    And it’s Kos, not Koz.

    Interesting note….I’m surprised how the left hasn’t jumped all over Obama for bowing to Wall Street with his picks.

    This also tells me about your reading habits. The progressive wing of the Dem party has been pretty unhappy with how unprogressive his picks have been, and they’ve been quite vocal about it. They haven’t been surprised by this – he’s turning out to be what they thought he was all along.

    Which is why we’ve been laughing our asses off for months now at how his detractors were trying to portray him as the second coming of Lenin.

  7. I’m sure that what I read from the left far surpasses what my leftist friends read in the conservative media. They only see the Ann Coulter, or Sean Hannity and ignore the National Review.

    For a perspective of what and how the right thinks, you ought to check this out. Some good essays.
    http://americanthinker.com/

    Jeff

  8. American Thinker’s stuff that I’ve read made it nearly impossible to take them seriously. They pushed the OISM/Global Warming Petition Project and are climate disruption deniers (not skeptics, whom I respect but still disagree with, but deniers). They’ve also claimed that the Community Reinvestment Act and Fannie/Freddie are the main cause of today’s economic problems, something that is flat out wrong (Fannie and Freddie were a small part, but the CRA had a negligible impact). They supported the “Obama is a Muslim” and “Obama will be bad for Israel” memes, also contrary to the facts.

    I agree that the National Review is good stuff, generally speaking, but even they’re out of bed when it comes to science. Whether it’s because, as Christopher Buckley said, Republicans have become anti-intellectual since Ronald Reagan’s presidency or because the National Review doesn’t have knowledgeable science, energy, and environment journalists on staff I couldn’t say.

  9. One might also say, Dr. Slammy, that the assumption that one’s ideological opponents read only the publications which one sees as typical of that ideology, or indeed one’s presumption of omniscience in that one believes one to have any idea what one’s aforementioned challengers read at all, would paint a rather clear picture of one’s own…

    Ooooh, ouch. Pomposity overload.

  10. I think that Ms. Ivins is on to something here. I’m certain that most of the folks on the left dismiss Rush Limbaugh off hand, just as Olbermann is an anathema to the folks on the right. I, myself don’t generally read much from the right, as they would be preaching to the choir. I have noticed that most intellectuals like to trot out “The Economist,”as though it’s the holy grail. Real professionals find a practical value for that magazine in that they usually are wrong in much of their business and market analysis, as in too little, too late. The Economist sometimes presents a great fade indicator in that if one does the opposite of what they report, they will make money, a lot of money. A great deal of quantification of this phenomena has been made. The covers of the magazine provide excellent contrarian indicators.
    http://tinyurl.com/62fb23

    Jeff

  11. It is one thing to dislike someone, but such public ill will isn’t very nice.

    Yes, it isn’t.

    Why don’t you tell this to Ms. Coulter? With her jaw wired shut, she’d be unable to talk back about the godless liberals destroying the country.

    Treat others as you wish to be, reap what you sow, blah blah blah

  12. Ann: I’m a little confused. I don’t recall suggesting anything even remotely like what I think you accuse me of suggesting. Unless you’re talking about my comment on the freak wing of Kos. Are there people there who are like what Jeff says? Sure. But they hardly comprise anything like “all.” So if Jeff says everybody there is like X, but in fact only Y% are like X, then it’s fairly safe to say that Jeff only reads the Y%, right?

    I guess I could draw other conclusions from his statement, but they’d be far less charitable.

    So now I’m even more confused.

  13. Dr. Slammy,

    Of course you didn’t say anything like that, dingdong – but someone else did.

    I addressed my utterly uncharitable remarks to you as something of an homage, since I, too, am intensely irritated by the gratuitous use of “one” as a third-person stand-in for what should be a simple first-person pronoun.

    One is sorry for the confusion. One is, however, enjoying the opportunity to call you a dingdong.

    Sincerely,
    A. M. Ivins

  14. This one got lost at about the eighth one. But one just figured one was out of one’s league.

    But one has to say, knowing Coulter has her trap wired shut on top of a fighting chance Wubya will be out of office before he can destroy the world, this makes one feel hopeful..

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