by JS O’Brien
Elizabeth Dole, wife of former Senator and presidential candidate Robert Dole, and Republican Senator from North Carolina (or “Nawth Ca’lina” if you prefer the proper pronunciation), was possessed today by Jesse Helms’ twisted, gangrenous, suppurating soul. Channeling Helms’ mavericky energy, Dole released an ad accusing her opponent in this year’s senatorial campaign, Kay Hagan, in what has to be the most … well … just watch it. It’s only 30 seconds.
Dole, Jesse Helms’ protege and hand-picked successor for his North Carolina Senatorial seat, is facing a very difficult election most pundits think she will lose. Summoning Helms from his benighted corner of Hell, where he was being repeatedly sodomized for eternity by 72 virgin African American men, Dole obtained the formula for Helms’ come-from-behind victory over African American candidate Harvey Gantt, in the ad shown here.
It remains to be seen if the dark magic Helms used to win against Gantt will work against Hagan; if North Carolina has grown up sufficiently to be immune to this sort of sorcery. Clearly, Dole doesn’t believe that it has.
Nor does Helms, it would appear.