Lady Die: de Rothschild, elitism and the final episode of Punk'd

This is some pretty funny stuff.

Prominent Clinton backer and Dem donor to endorse McCain
Posted: 10:45 AM ET

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Lynn Forester de Rothschild, a prominent Hillary Clinton supporter and member of the Democratic National Committee’s Platform Committee, will endorse John McCain for president on Wednesday, her spokesman tells CNN.

But that’s not the good part. Check this:

In an interview with CNN this summer, Forester did not hide her distaste for eventual Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama.

“This is a hard decision for me personally because frankly I don’t like him,” she said of Obama in an interview with CNN’s Joe Johns. “I feel like he is an elitist. I feel like he has not given me reason to trust him.” [emphasis added]

The half-Kenyan kid whose father deserted him, leaving him to be raised by mom and grandparents in Kansas, he’s elitist. Check.

And de Rothschild? She’s the wife of this guy – Sir Evelyn de Rothschild, knighted financier and descendant of the – excuse me, the – insanely wealthy Rothschild banking dynasty.

Sweet fancy ballroom dancing Jesus – is this the Supreme High Queen of the Mystical Land of Douchebagistan or what? Let’s review her pedigree résumé, shall we?

  • Here’s her Forbes profile. It’s like she’s a walking homage to the common man.
  • Now this piece is something of a journalistic marvel. It attempts to paint a portrait of a hard-working, self-made woman. I have no doubt that she worked hard when young and she seems to be a woman with a good measure of business acumen. But note what the story omits. At various points along the way she makes some smart decisions, but … where did the money come from? She made “a small fortune” reselling jeans she’d bought for $10 a pair in Europe, but in order to make a “fortune” of any size, that means she needed a certain amount of cash in her pocket. Quite a bit of cash, in fact. Then she studied law at Columbia – on need-based scholarships, no doubt – then she “got a job” in telecom and persuaded Motorola to buy a stake, yadda yadda yadda. This is a woman that fortune seems to seek out, wouldn’t you say? Now, ask yourself, what kind of person does money come looking for?
  • Here we at least get the words “dazzingly well connected,” and that may go a ways toward explaining some of the missing pieces in the bullet above.

I’ll wait here while you wander though the stories linked here. Take your time and savor the richness of it all. No hurry.What were we talking about again? Oh, right – Barack Obama is an elitist. Got it. Up next: Fifty Cent disses Pat Boone for being black. Film at 11.

But I digress.

Surely, surely, this is the most ambitious episode of Punk’d yet. At any moment Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out from behind a plant and yell GOTCHA at America. Right? Or maybe Christopher Guest is doing another movie, this one about political campaigns? (Although I’m a little confused, because Lady Die has clearly poached the Jennifer Coolidge role.)

Or even better – maybe this is something that Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton (one of Rothschild’s buds) cooked up. Seriously, once this story breaks, no Republican apologist will ever be able to use the word “elitist” in public again. It’s brilliant – BRILLIANT, I say.

Because nobody – nobody – on the face of the Earth could be this lacking in self-awareness. You couldn’t even build a good stand-up routine around this because in order for something to be funny it has to be at least mildly grounded in plausibility.

But – apparently it’s actually really truly happening and not a joke or a campaign ploy. This hyper-privileged barking loon is serious.

  • You may have noticed the repeated references to “Lady” Rothschild. That’s apparently what she likes being called (and if you believe the rumors, insists on being called). Lady Rothschild. Not Lynn, but LADY.
  • Motive? Well, she was a big Hillary supporter and raised six figures for the campaign. I’ll let you do your own speculation here.
  • Then there’s this: “I think if history is our guide, we’ve had stronger economies, more wealth creation, under Democratic presidents than we have under Republican presidents.” Hey, you make it fit. I’ve given up.

In a stupid world gone silly, we have now braved the final frontier. Braved it, paved it and built a Chuck E. Cheese on every corner. Because this is not only the dumbest fucking thing any human being has ever said – in a political campaign or otherwise – it is the dumbest fucking thing it would be possible to stay.

How much blacker could this album be, ponders Nigel in Spinal Tap. “None. None more black.”

How much stupider could a statement be? None. None more stupider.

You have reached the end of the journey, America. Ashton Kutcher or no, you been punk’d.

5 replies »

  1. Everyone knows “the common people” pose for photos with a hand placed daintily under their chins.

  2. Rho,

    You, like most Americans, badly understand things like Hell, Satan and his “minions.” It’s true that we take pleasure – what you’d probably call “perverse” pleasure – in the stupidity of humans, it’s not true that we caused it.

    No, friends, humans are to blame for their own idiocy.