Lanyards and riot gear: must-have accessories for downtown Denver

by Djerrid

ITEM! 16th Street Mall is fashion central for everyone who is anyone in the Democratic Party. If you are coming for the convention, there is no escaping the 16th Street Mall. It’s the place to see and be seen. First off, you’ll need to get your bling. Buttons, T-shirts, signs, chants and fliers. But remember you are never fully dressed without a lanyard. You can have your press passes, IDs and credentials. But it’s the convention hall pass that completes the outfit.

What is that? You are not even planning on going to the convention today? Well, don’t you make the fashion faux pas and take that little badge of belonging off. You must wear it proudly and always. But don’t worry. You won’t be alone. A quick walk up and down the Mall and you’ll see fully 20% of the population showing that they can get into a certain arena any time they wish.

But they’re not the only one showing off their street cred. The fuzz is out in full force and walking around like they own the place. And they’ve got so much stuff, they don’t even have room for a lanyard. They’ve got the cute little plastic bracelets that they hand out to any and all bold enough to ask for one. There’s the lovely gas mask and riot helmet matching set. Hanging along side is extra large can of whoop-ass, I mean pepper spray. And don’t forget the cute little semi-automatic. It looks like Officer Krupke is all grown up!

And their dashing ensembles won’t go unnoticed since they always seem to hang around in groups of six or eleven. And they seemed like they were everywhere! Like every fifty feet! So I actually walked the whole mall and counted each and every one of our boys in blue! (Actually, most were dressed in riot black, but some were blue and there were even a few brownies.) So, the total tally came out to 81! With 60 of them riot cops, four on motorcycles, six on horseback and just one guy on a Segway!

4 replies »

  1. Yep, the upside of the DNC: I can speed down I-25 pass all the parked police vehicles along the highway without a worry. They aren’t going to bother pulling over little ole me, they’re too busy waiting for disaster to strike.

    Seriously, I-25 seems to have police & state patrol vehicles parked in clumps all along the corridor near downtown. They never move.

    Lara Amber