by JS O’Brien
I suppose I should really address this to your campaign managers, since you don’t know how to use a computer to read this.Â But maybe they’ll print it up and hand it to you.
Anyway, John, your campaign is starting to smell like a beached sturgeon.Â The whole thing with Paris Hilton and the other bimbo?Â Lame, lame, lame.Â I want you to win, man, but you seem to be trying your best to blow it.Â Trying to link Obama to some dumb blonde chicks is not gonna get you to the White House, OK?Â If you want to get there, you’re going to have to explain yourself and your positions to theÂ American public.
Take affirmative action, for example.Â You’ve come out in favor of amendments in the states banning affirmative action.Â Good on ya!Â Now there’s a positive message that will get the folks out and pulling that old handle next to your name!Â On the other hand, I’ve seen some of your campaign ads, John, and I think you know you could use some help getting your message out.Â So, I’ve made up a commercial for you.Â You can look at it right below this.Â Just get one of your assistants to help you with the mouse.
Oh, and you can have this commercial, John.Â Â Consider it my donation to your campaign.Â Keep up the good work.Â Fight!Â Fight!Â Fight!