Day: June 6, 2008

Jesus denounces McCain, endorses Obama

In a stunning turn of events Thursday, the Son of God endorsed Barack Obama for President while rejecting and distancing himself from presumptive Republican nominee John McCain.

Outside an Applebee’s off the New Jersey Turnpike in Paramus yesterday, Jesus Christ told reporters, “Look, it’s been a very divisive primary season between Barack and Hillary. I thought my support would aid the healing process and help unify the Democrats.”

Asked if he was a registered Democrat, Jesus replied, “I’m actually registered with the Green Party. But no amount of faith and prayer will get their candidate elected.” Christ clarified, “I perform miracles, but there are limits.”