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1. I have noticed that, in the four years since leaving Colorado, I have become less even-keeled. Oh sure, I could be trendy and call it a mid-life crisis or male menopause or some such crap, but I like to think of it as a sort of phantom response. I think of it as though the body is attempting to compensate for the wild swings in weather to which it had become accustomed.

   I see by the second photo that you managed to procure one of those rare black taun-tauns. While they’re no good for camouflage against the Empire, I hear they have a bit more fight in them. It’s an open debate whether such an attribute is desirable.

2. The only reason the Empire still exists is because they have so far had the good sense to steer clear of this particular taun-taun. He needs camouflage like Shaquille O’Neal needs a crossover move.

3. less even-keeled. . . the body is attempting to compensate for the wild swings in weather to which it had become accustomed

   Sounds plausible, fishun. Even while still living in a place like Colorado, I’d be a mental wreck from the mercurial weather. Metropolitan New York, where I live, is bad enough.

   I suspect that’s one attraction of tropical areas. The narrower range of weather and seasons (except for hurricanes) lends stability to your life.

   Also, you don’t feel as if time is passing as quickly. Which is probably one reason old folks retire to Florida. You feel less like you’re rushing to the grave.