American Culture

Chris Matthews: hardball, screwball, no balls at all

By Ann Ivins

The way I see it, if you’re a self-aggrandizing, loudmouthed peckerhead whose successful career is built on being a self-aggrandizing, loudmouthed peckerhead, the least you can do is own your own persona. Stick to your rage. Cherish your bigotry. Wrap your narcissism in swaddling cloths of steel and never ever let it go.

That’s a little thing called “integrity”…. and Mr. Chris Matthews, I’m talking to you. One controversial comment, a few bitchslaps from every major feminist organization (and your boss), and you fold like a pair of well-worn granny panties. Why, Chris? Why?

So… you routinely salivate while interviewing attractive female guests. So you have an obsession with castration scenarios involving powerful females. So your view of American women is limited to sweetly ignorant homemakers and demonic man-hating harpies. So what, big guy? MSNBC doesn’t pay you to put on the pancake and be rational or dignified, for God’s sake. That tenuous hold on sanity you’ve got going is the slimy, oozing heart of your appeal.

Oh, Chris. You didn’t “sound like” you were claiming Hillary Clinton’s entire political success was the direct result of Bill’s inability to keep his cigar in his pants; you were laying down your truth, baby. You were committed. Now, with this wimpy, weaseling semi-apology, you’ve caved to those nut-busting feminazis – and betrayed your true self. Please, please, Chris Matthews: come back to us. Find yourself again. Snarl and foam your way back into our hearts.

One thing, though: lose the public hard-on for Ann Coulter, okay? Because that’s just stank.

Categories: American Culture

14 replies »

  1. Well, pancake isn’t used much anymore. Too orangy when white-balanced for tungsten. Airbrush is all the rage, and I suspect Chris is airbrushed to within an inch of his overweaning hubris.

    Good takedown, Joy. The fact is, there can be no such thing as an apology for what one said. One must apologize for what one is. These so-called slips-of-the-tongue are no such thing. They do not reveal what one is not. They reveal what one is. The rest is vanity.

  2. It was curious to see him on “The Daily Show” a few months ago promoting his book. Jon Stewart almost never does this, but he went after Matthews, who was completely surprised. He almost seemed hurt.

    One thing you can say in Matthew’s favor is he hosts a lively show, which I admit I enjoy. More so than that of Olbermann (who, of course, I respect much more as a person).

    Surprisingly, the best political show on network or basic cable is, after all these years, “The McLaughlin Group.” The moderator has mellowed and by staying incredibly focused, despite his years, he gets the hacks who people his panel to transcend themselves.

    Odd, Mike, that Comcast blacks out MSNBC. To ask an obvious question, is that out of deference to a conservative viewership in that area?

    Aside from public access (yikes! there are some scary people on in our neck of the woods), I don’t know what political shows are on premium cable, beside Maher.

  3. Pingback: www.buzzflash.net
  4. JS,

    Exactly. The coerced mea culpa is not only meaningless but insulting. Chris Matthews is no different today than he was a week ago, and this was hardly his first obnoxious, inappropriately sexualized comment… or his second, or his twentieth.

    To me, the only aspect of this situation worth investigation or comment is: what precise factors need to coalesce in the mind of, say, Steve Capus in order to transmute a “harmless” and profitable personality into an intolerable misogynist? Whose protests constitute a believable threat to the bottom line (because if anyone thinks that journalistic integrity was at issue, they’re even more naive than I am)? How does he decide that it’s time for his performing monkey to trot out the contrition routine?

    After all, if Matthews or Imus didn’t have a fanbase willing to tolerate sexist leering and racist comments, they wouldn’t have jobs in the first place. Whose judgment should really be under scrutiny – the person hired to behave like a jerk or the person who hired him?

    Give me Howard Stern any day; no, don’t. I can’t even stand to look at him. But I will say this: he is what he is. He knows what works for him, he sticks to it, and he doesn’t apologize.

  5. Oh, and Russ – I know, I really enjoy The McLaughlin Group now. In fact, it’s the only political show I watch consistently.

  6. This is why I don’t even bother with any of these pundits and bloviators. They’re just worthless. Well played, Euphrosyne.

  7. Let’s not forget the unfair trashing Chris gave Gore. One of his schticks was to keep repeating the lie that Gore had claimed to have invented the internet. He even did this after he had admitted he knew it was not true.
    I agree with the comment about McLaughlin. It has gotten so much better. I think Bush scared John McLaughlin so badly that he has become more balanced.

  8. #4

    “Whose protests constitute a believable threat to the bottom line (because if anyone thinks that journalistic integrity was at issue, they’re even more naive than I am)?”

    I don’t think it’s those who protest so much as it is the dawning realization of the inevitable return to political dominance of Democrats. It’s my impression that NBC is simply re-tooling for the change.

  9. Odd, Mike, that Comcast blacks out MSNBC. To ask an obvious question, is that out of deference to a conservative viewership in that area?

    Aside from public access (yikes! there are some scary people on in our neck of the woods), I don’t know what political shows are on premium cable, beside Maher.

    Comcast may block out MSNBC where you live, and that’s probably due to conservative politicians, but it doesn’t block it out in Philadelphia and other cities. I think you’d better
    check into why you aren’t getting this station – considering that there are still two
    conservative hosts (once there were three) as opposed to two liberal hosts (once
    there was only one). MSNBC may not scream fair and balanced, but they definitely put FOX to shame.