Welcome to S&R’s year in review. Over the next few days we’ll be taking a look back at the year past, the ridiculous and the sublime, the famous and infamous. We begin the series with a couple of carols that you and your family can sing by the fire today.

Dreaming of a White Christmas in Northern Neck Regional Jail in Warsaw, Virginia

For Michael Vick
(to the tune of “White Christmas”)

I’m screaming at a white, pit bull
Each time he backs away in fear
It’s a thing I’m dreading
‘Cause I’ll be betting
My pride, money, and career

I’m screaming at a white, pit bull
It seems he doesn’t want to bite
So I’ll hang, drown, or fry him, in sight
Of the other dogs so that they’ll fight

Walking in an Insider Trading Wonderland

For Joe Nacchio (former CEO of Quest)
(to the tune of “Walking in a Winter Wonderland”)

Wall Street rings, are you listenin’
On the floor, gold is glistenin’
A beautiful sight
We’re happy tonight
Trading on insider info now

All those marks, buying from me
Don’t know Quest’s, freakin’ shaky
Buy low and sell high
Screw all other guys
Trading on insider info now

On the Jersey Shore we’ll build a mansion
And pretend it’s built with honest gains
I’ll transfer assets to my wife to show that
You can keep ill-gotten bucks if you have brains

Later on, we’ll conspire
As we sit, by the fire
It’ll keep her in furs
‘Til I get out of stir
Trading on insider info now.

Credits: both carols by JS O’Brien.